Sing Mei's Birthday!

Pictures from Sing Mei's birthday! :D
We ordered Pizza to school and Sing Mei treat us. (: THANKS! :D



♥ Emeline, Richelle, Julia, Yun Xin, Sing Mei, Sarah and Lydia.
Thanks Richelle for the pics!

Happy Belated Birthday Sing Mei. :) Hope to get to know you better, and sorry for the very very late wishing. :x All the best for your studies! Jiayous, :D

Going to Pastor's house! :D

Days past so fast and soon I will be returning to shanghai! :o
My "Holidays" are soon over. && When I return, I am back to school! Heehee, I am so gonna skip cross country. Cause I just came back the day before and I need to unpack and sort out some stuff right!! ^^ *excuses excuses* :x Heehee. Oh, I have something to say..

ISN'T DRIED MANGOES JUST SO AWESOME!

Haha, I am like addicted to it! Ever since I've got introduced to it in cellgroup in Shanghai, I LOVE IT. ^^ I am going to to Pastor's house later for lunch and bible study. :) New Year I guess. Guess Oh and guess what, I got my mom to make a facebook account! :D Heehee now my whole family has a facebook account except MELANIE! d:

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Closed starry eyes, sleeping dreams, humming lullabies.

Friday

Did not go to school today.
Went to meet SSIS friends. Well, EX- SSIS friends. Went to Mark's club, bowled, played some arcade and head for dinner. && After that, Jingyi had to rush cause her aunt was picking her up, so I decided to accompany her and head to newton mrt to go home. While the guys went to play pool. && now, I'm home.


Have you ever felt like there is this whole other person inside of you, trying to find a way to come out? Have you ever felt like though you sit beside your closest friend but feel like he or she is so far away? Have you ever felt like you are not living your life but someone else is? Its like a flower fading in the autumn winds but will bloom in spring, it's like a Caterpillar becoming a butterfly, it's like your a hamster in a cage, trying to run but you are only running on the running wheel. (Respectively.)

+ Let yourself be expressed, let the true you shine and burst forth because no one can tell you who you are, decide your choices in life nor run your race in life for you. Everyone gets one life on this planet earth, everyone is unique and special. Don't let anything or anyone restrict you from shinning. Cause this is who you are. :)

+ Maybe your friend has changed for the better but to you, you feel like she or he has changed so much for you to recognise. But changes in life is common and most of the time its good for what the person is going through. Though that person might not be opening up to you like last time, it takes time to build back that open and out going character again. :) && Through this, friends need friends to help them. But if that person changed for the worst, its for you, as a close friend to tell him or her nicely. Cause friends are there to look out for each other. ^^

+ Make your own decisions. Don't rely on others because this is the starting step from where people feel comfortable and happy to push you around and command your every move. Its not for them to live your life cause they wont be having a very perfect life either. They will be too busy living their own life and adding unnecessary sadistic happiness in like commanding you around. Its not fair to you.. You should take a stand and know how to not be pushed around by showing that you are capable of living your own life. :) You don't have to say it, just prove it. Like what people say, "Actions speaks louder than words."

Those 3 topics up there is just encouragement to people out there who seems to be sad and cant find a way out to different difficulties and boulders in life. :) Cause through it all, you do have friends to talk to. Share your joy, happiness, sadness and anger with. ^^

Goodness, is it me or am I really becoming a hippy!

1st day of school.

3h '09,
INSANE, yet fun.

Today's my first day of school in fairfield for this year. TEST TEST TEST, how welcoming. Haha, :D I bet I am going to flunk all of it. I AM NEW! d: *excused* Heehee. X) Alot of us did the chinese paper halfway, mostly up to the comprehension and gave up, fold arms on table, SLEEP. Sweet... I know. :)

Went to visit Chelsea today, she seems well and lively, but she is seriously loosing fur cause of her teaks. Really missed her, met Valery, Chelsea's new buddy. One year younger, yet sweet and mature. Thank God for her. ^^

Emo no more. :D

In my last post, I am telling everyone not to emo. When I was at war just now, I felt like doing things so stupid and suicidal. HOW IRONIC. Anyways, now I am not. d: My life now to me is just to.. NOT CARE about anything and everything. BUT, to love those I love and for them to be happy. I will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING just to see those smiles! :D Haha, :D I am feeling so carefree ^^and HAPPY! :D I wish everyone HAPPINESS heehee. I sound like some hippy! d:

Please dont emo! :D

EMO No more.

Everyone is getting so emo. So sad and depressed over how terrible their life can get. Dear friends please cheer up. I don't want to see you frown, not a tear nor a scream of frustrations and please, don't even think of ending your life. Life is precious, don't go slashing or even think of jumping off a building. THANK GOD FOR FEAR. Smile, and be happy you are actually alive. Not many people are as privilege as you are to live up to this day.. Treasure life while you still have it, smile and don't let anything affect you this bad cause this is just part of life. When you were given life, you were never promised you will have a perfect and unblemished life! Through all these difficulties and sadness, we grow otherwise we will never learn what hurts us and through these we also learn what to avoid and things has its time. LOVE especially, is what seems to be the main percentage on emo-ness.. We all have our right time for love and times where God tells us to wait and be patient cause your right one isn't here yet. He or she comes at the right time when God sends him or her. Don't be impatient, don't use someone else to substitute, don't even play with anyone cause it will just affect the other person and sadness is shared.. PLEASE SMILE! ^^b
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These are certain notes to various people. So don't be a kpo to read all. d:
Joey:
Don't give up on yourself so easily, :} Trust in God and Pray. He will guide and lead you! ^^ I know life can be crazy and seems like a movie happening right before us but in all these trails and troubles we actually learn. You might feel like your old self is coming back. You are aware, so since you know, try to avoid that from happening. You can if you try to correct yourself if you act like your old self. :} Jiayous on your this year studies and I really do pray to see you in Perth in 2010! All the best! :D xoxo.

Nigel:
CAMWHORE BUDDY! ^^ I know you are having your own problems and troubles but you never really show them out when you are with us. :} You can always come and talk to me if you want to. :} I am always here for you. Letting out our frustrations and sadness is one thing but facing it and solving the problem is another. You don't ever have to be alone to face your problems! That's why God is there for you and He has placed family and friends there for us to cry to. && Definitely we can cry to Him too! :D Cheer up alright? :D Haha, :D Loves!

Rachel Yeo:
I am always here for you to listen to you alright dear girl? :D Always ready to pick your call up and listen. :}

Zhe Hui:
I told you directly what I actually missed. && your answer was that you changed. So what if you changed skipping buddy? Does it mean I will never get to skip again with you? Does it mean I can't trust you anymore? Who says you cant let your old self return? Cause I know you feel that this whole new person inside of you is trying to find a way to come out but at the same time you want to suicide. Where have all your cheerfulness and insanity gone? Its somewhere lost in you. You never use to turn me down on skipping trips cause skipping with you through the crowd, not caring what others say or think or curse us for being childish, we wont care. We just fight through it all and let joy over take us. Now, you hesitate. Its really sad to see you sad and frowning. Where's the smile that comes up instantly when we are mad? Now I see forced and fake smiles when you take pictures. Not sincere anymore. I know you better than this Zhe Hui, I miss my old buddy. Please don't be emo anymore, cause life is not that bad. Don't you ever think of killing yourself ever again.. Cause its hurting you now but you can always heal. Cause every bruise we get, we recover and become stronger. ^^b Jiayous, :D

Yun Xin:
Thank you for staying through with me all these times dear jie. ^^ I miss you loads and wish to catch up with you soon! :D I am sorry for all the miscommunication caused. ): && Thank you for forgiveness, you are great best friend. && I promise you, you will never be a part of my past. Never. I don't want you to be cause I love you. <3




Hansika:
Kaka Kuku! :D Hope you are having fun in indo! I can't wait to reach shanghai and PULL YOUR PANTS OFF! XD Haha, we should sneak out one night and watch the sun rise together! heehee, :D I will miss you loads! :D && yes, Cold stone, Starbucks and PLAYGROUND is a necessity! XD Cam whore too! :P Loads of misses and have fun! :D


Ashim:
Bi, I miss you.. T^T I look through our pictures everyday, wishing you are having fun right this instant and doing your very best. I hope you enjoyed your first day of school. :} Don't be afraid of changes anymore cause I am always there for you. Learn to face them like how I am learning ^^ it will make you happier! :D Haha, :D I love you loads loads boy. All the best for school and I really do hope to see you soon. :} I will probably go to Sydney as much as possible alright? :D You better try to come to Perth too! d: Haha, :D Yes, it will work! ^^ I will try to go online as early as possible alright? I am sorry for not being able to the last few days.. ): Can't come online to talk to you. I AM REALLY MISSING YOU! D: I wanna tell you "I love you" too. I do mean it too.. I LOVE & MISS YOU BABY BOY! Whenever I miss you, I think of you. Me in your arms, burying my face, into your chest listening to your heart beat, oh that happy tune. As you put your arms around me and whisper those 3 sweet words. Imagination. Just like what you taught me. :D Thank God for giving us such powerful brains! XD I miss you loads, love you! <3

Julian:
I am so sorry DLB! ): I so freaking regret.. ): How many sorries I may say but I agree with you, I have not been myself lately. I know that too.. But give me time to try alright? :} Now you're in Malaysia, hope you are having fun there! :D Cause your DLB is missing you. ^^




Jingyi: Having fun dear girl? :D Hope to catch up with you soon in shanghai! ^^ && I wont be surprise if you have more than just one cut :x Heehee nah just joking I know you aren't that careless. ^^ && Don't you ever say you mean so little to me cause you don't! You do mean loads to me. :} I hope you are having fun during this CNY! Miss you! :D

Happy Birthday Anna! :D

Happy Birthday AWESOME ANNA! ^^
Hey! Happy birthday girl! :} Finally a fifteen eh? You're back in shanghai now? Hope you enjoyed your CNY holidays! :D Known you for quite some time and grew closer to you through Cellgroup, heard your cries and sorrows and yet happiness and joy. :} Stay strong, smile cause You are FABULOUS. You have cheered me up at times and screamed with me with all our frustrations come stumbling out! :D I'll miss you and STARBUCKS is missed! :P

NEW YEAR

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! :D

Changes again.

I know why.. I know why I can't focus, can't feel anything and feel like a puppet doll. Cause I am scared.. Scared of changes and differences. Cause changes in my life are ever so rapid and it is quite fearful because you wont know what to expect anymore. Not like a little kid waking up early one Christmas morning knowing what to expect under those nicely wrap presents.. Not anymore, this is like a dream, never knowing what is going to happen and with monsters out there, hiding anytime to make us waking up screaming, with tears in our eyes and sweating in agony not even in reality. In just 2 days, my life future plans have been changed again.. I won't be staying in Singapore for long, I will have to move to Perth sometime in 2009. && Yes, I am scared. I need to slow down and embrace the present. To face the truth and understand it.

I want to get away one day. Take the train non-stop, scream at the wind and find myself again.
Anyone wanna come? :} A company should be good. ^^b

I don't know what is going on in my life.
Everything is changing so rapidly that I don't seem to feel that I am alive.
"Is this all a dream?" "Is this some kind of a joke!?" "Is this where I am?" These are the top 3 questions I ask myself first. Then it becomes deeper, "What am I doing..?" "Do I care?" " Is this really happening.." Are the next top 3 questions I ask myself..

Now.. Shanghai feels like it was 10 Years Ago of my history.. Like, I try to think back, all my friends there and all the happiness we shared.. It feels and seems like a blurry image that I can't picture it out.. I think that is sad cause I don't want to forget Shanghai, though it was just part of the whole lot of changes in my life, it still means alot. I feel my life is going on without my awareness and focuses in life.. I can't grasp the fact that I am back in Singapore.. I've been asking myself day in and day out these same question: "Am I really in Singapore?" To me it feels painful cause it leaves a terrible headache in there and like a little girl's deep dream and we are part of dream..

You love to see me in this dress.

HAPPY 2ND MONTH ASHIM!♥


You love to see me in this dress. ^^ I love bi. The rose you gave me when you stayed over, kept and cared for! :D Days past with you seems like a bullet train! Like not too long ago was only our 1 month! && Now, we have been together for 61 days straight without any argument nor fighting. :} Everyday I've spent with you, staring at you from where ever I was seated made me just contented knowing you are here with me. 10 years, not that hard right? :} It will work. I've PROMISED. && Don't be silly bi, you won't lose me to someone in Singapore, you should have more confidence in yourself!! ^^ I will see you in aussie yes? Hopefully. :} Happy 2nd Month Bi. Love you! ♥

I love you guys. Julian and Ashim, FOREVER.

The few days before everything started changing and beloved people leave.. 3 of us, loved each other and close friends till now. We told each other precious secrets and we have laughed together. We teased each other and poked jokes and helping each other in our relationships. We cheer each other up, it always work. Never failed. :} Ashim bi and Julian DLB, I love you guys. Thank you for being there for me no matter what. Sacrificing for each other and cheering each other on. :} You guys are the greatest! ^^

Thank you Julian for cheering me up. For bringing back the smile I never could have tonight. Thankyou dear buddy. :} && Ashim, hope you will have a safe journey mercy to Aussie! :D Will talk to you in the morning yes? I will come online. ^^ Love you.

I am missing you..

When you gave your emotional speech, everyone was brought to tears and nearly crying. I SHOULD be crying, YES I should have. Why was I laughing then? WHY!? Cause if I cry, I will make you even more emotional. You've always told me not to cry and wipe my tears and hug me. But while you were wiping my tears your eye becomes watery.. But you don't let those tears out cause you want to stand strong for me. I wanted to cry so badly everything out today.. I really did but why was I freaking laughing!? Cause I myself want to be strong for you too.. Keeping those sadness of hearing your voice in front of me coming out for the last time, not knowing when I will see you again, I wanted to cry.. I wanted to scream and wail like a kid that has just lost her teddy bear. Keeping it in and covering it with laughter and mask of smiles, felt like I am being eaten from the inside out, watching the others cry it felt like I was literally taking a hammer and whacking it continuously over and over on my heart. I told myself no matter what, I should not cry. Not now. Cause for you, I've promised not to. I've promised. But when I came home, I saw the rose, I saw the doggy, turned up the music of Miley Cyrus "Goodbye" I snuggled the toy you gave me on my bed, crying and drowning my tears in the song. I'm missing you.. Last hug, last kiss. How much it stung.. I freaking miss you.. I really do.. I'm sorry for those times when I am so foolish to try to make you jealous. GOSH, HOW DUMB COULD I GET!? Only you've seen me cry, those salty tears roll, each screaming how much I miss you.. Today you've carried me for the last time in school, but I did enjoy it.. Thankyou.. I've asked myself, "How long can I last? How long am I gonna take to let go of you physically?" The answer is, " When I know that I love you, and so do you." When I hear just the word 'bye.' Tears come gushing and I will just fall to my knees and cry. CAUSE I BARELY SAID BYE TO YOU. Oh, how much I do regret.. You are leaving in just 2 more hours.. You said you'll call. Please do.. Cause I'm really missing you.. I love you bi, I miss you. All the best for Australia! :D I will see you real soon yeah? :}

Stop asking me whether I am okay or not, cause currently, I DONT FEEL LIKE MYSELF.

Sleepover Pictures!

Sleepover pics.