When you gave your emotional speech, everyone was brought to tears and nearly crying. I SHOULD be crying, YES I should have. Why was I laughing then? WHY!? Cause if I cry, I will make you even more emotional. You've always told me not to cry and wipe my tears and hug me. But while you were wiping my tears your eye becomes watery.. But you don't let those tears out cause you want to stand strong for me. I wanted to cry so badly everything out today.. I really did but why was I freaking laughing!? Cause I myself want to be strong for you too.. Keeping those sadness of hearing your voice in front of me coming out for the last time, not knowing when I will see you again, I wanted to cry.. I wanted to scream and wail like a kid that has just lost her teddy bear. Keeping it in and covering it with laughter and mask of smiles, felt like I am being eaten from the inside out, watching the others cry it felt like I was literally taking a hammer and whacking it continuously over and over on my heart. I told myself no matter what, I should not cry. Not now. Cause for you, I've promised not to. I've promised. But when I came home, I saw the rose, I saw the doggy, turned up the music of Miley Cyrus "Goodbye" I snuggled the toy you gave me on my bed, crying and drowning my tears in the song. I'm missing you.. Last hug, last kiss. How much it stung.. I freaking miss you.. I really do.. I'm sorry for those times when I am so foolish to try to make you jealous. GOSH, HOW DUMB
COULD I GET!? Only you've seen me cry, those salty tears roll, each screaming how much I miss you.. Today you've carried me for the last time in school, but I did enjoy it.. Thankyou.. I've asked myself, "How long can I last? How long am I gonna take to let go of you physically?" The answer is, " When I know that I love you, and so do you." When I hear just the word 'bye.' Tears come gushing and I will just fall to my knees and cry. CAUSE I BARELY SAID BYE TO YOU. Oh, how much I do regret.. You are leaving in just 2 more hours.. You said you'll call. Please do.. Cause I'm really missing you.. I love you bi, I miss you. All the best for Australia! :D I will see you real soon yeah? :}