Hate How Much I Love You by Rihanna f.t Ne- Yo.

[Rihanna:]That's much I love you (yeah) That's how much I need you (yeah, yeah, yeah) And I can’t stand ya Must everything you do make me wanna smile Can I not like you for awhile (No..)

[Ne-Yo:] but you won’t let me You upset me girl and then you kiss my lips All of a sudden I forget that I was upset Can’t remember what you did But I hate it

[Rihanna:] You know exactly what to do So that I can’t stay mad at you For too long, that’s wrong

[Ne-Yo:] But, I hate it You know exactly how to touch So that I don’t wanna fuss and fight no more Said I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna:]And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah) I can’t stand how much I need you (I need you) And I hate how much I love you boy (ooh) But I just can’t let you go And I hate that I love you so..

[Ne-Yo:]And you completely know the power that you have The only one that makes me laugh

[Rihanna:] Said and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I Love you beyond a reason why And it just ain’t right

[Ne-Yo:] And I hate how much I love you girl I can’t stand how much I need you And I hate how much I love you girl But I just can’t let you go And I hate that I love you so

[Rihanna] One of these days maybe your magic won’t affect me And your kiss won’t make me weak But no one in this world knows me the way you know me So you’ll probably always have a spell on me.. (yeah~oooh~)

[Rihanna (Ne-Yo):] That's much I love you That's much I need youThat's much I need you That's much I love you That's much I need youI need you

[Rihanna:]And I hate that I love you sooo...

[ Rihanna:]And I hate how much I love you boy (Hey) I can’t stand how much I need you (I can’t stand how much I need you) And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...ooh) But I just can’t let you go (But I just can’t let you go, no) And I hate that I love you so

[Both:] And I hate that I love you so.. so..

I hate Love.
I dont believe in Love anymore.
I guess my heart is not filled with Love anymore so It must be filled with hatred.
I dont seem to care.
Love is always coming in hand in hand with Hurt.

Haish.. Cried for 12hours straight and have ran out of tears.
I am so sick of love. So tired of crying and cutting is something that is missed but I dont wanna be that immature creep who cuts and Cry without tears since i have ran out of them?

Love this word dont seem to be in me anymore. No love? No laughter nor joy.
Well i guess I can stick to that.
Yesterday was like a freaking idiotic day i ever had.
It was so bad that making me feel like getting into coma man. Wanna Rest In Peace atleast for a few days of months or maybe years or decades or century.

Well Thank you Alyssa for telling me the truth. I had to know right? And haha thanks for crying with me at the playground. I did not know why my tears just came out and filled with sadness. Thank you Joey for making me realise that this is not the end. Wow you were so serious I wanted to hug you man. But sorry Saw Alyssa cry so must go comfort her while i cry too haha.

Thank you Rachel for caring and understanding. Thank you Sarah for talking to me today on the bus and Lydia too!

F.Y.I I SO TIRED LOVE.

I HATE MYSELF.














Tonight at 9 I am going to the railway where you guided me through my fears.

Oh My Gosh;

Yesterday..
Can say it was crazy.
Went to watch movie with Joey And Yun.
27DRESSES!
Haha. Great Movie. Their best part was the credits.. ._. mine was.. when the friend slapped her ><
Oh my thats gotta hurt.
After that did not know what to do. Then both of them gang up against me. Haish they GOOD! haha. After that Yun took my bag and dont wanna return until like.. I join Jap class with her or go back to Dover to meet SOMEONE.

Was a great but tiring day. 25th January. Its the day i PROMISE; I wont forget. Well the picture is still in my head. Haha. LOVE!

I Am Still Loving YOU; EL.

Today Did not go to school. So tired.. =.= zzz
Woke up early cause had to get my passport.
After that came back to fetch my sister and my dad to do the medical check up thingy..
I was sooo freaking scared i had to do blood test. x.x But HENG AH! Dont need haha thanks to SWEET 13+. *kiss*
Only people who are 16 and above need to gt their blood sucked out! ><
Saw my sister's blood normal rate she was soo scared too.
Then saw my Dad. So fast! Like.. 1.2.3! FINISH!
Then my mum. the slowest blood to fill the tube. Haha. The doc' though that he never place correctly then first he tap tap the tube then make sure its in place. It was like.. 1...............2.............3.............4.............5............6...............7...............8...............9...............10..............
Then finally done haha.

Was partially tired cause slept pretty late haha. Spent time talking on the phone.

Haha. Well its worth it i guess haha. Tomorrow going to school.. Miss my friends already.. D;

Haha. Well thats all gonna AUDI! [:

I Do Love you EL.

I don't know what to do.
Why...Why...Why..
Even If I want to, I cant.

She's My friend. A used-to-be-close one espeacially.
She misses you. She cant bring herself to hate you. [I think]
I am just confused.
I am in the middle. I wish I never knew you.
Ok...Maybe I will take that back..
Guess she hates me too? o.o Man...

I want to get out. Be lost. And NEVER find a way back until you guys are friends again.

Both of you; Let me go. I dont wanna be in the middle. Its just too Hurtful. Honestly.. I want too.. But how? Its Just because its that regret and pain point of life.

1 Has moved on... I wish the other too will move on...
So I can carry on enjoying this crazy yet blissful Life.

Haish... Kill Me. *BANG!* Thank You.

Winnie's way of "taunt"

Wah last night SOMEBODY asked me to taunt with her

until go church. I drank lots of coffee to stay awake.

*BLECH* dont like coffee.. But got no choice cannot betray my friend mah.

So i drank coffee, exercise in my dad's FBT shirt i got for him haha

He forgot to bring it with him..=="

So i just use it and EXERCISE. Not onl that. My mum thought I was sleeping.

So i exercise in the DARK. oooo Hope got not much muscle dont wanna be a muscular girl haha.

The SOMEBODY told me to call her at 1pm. I called while exercising without any sense of sight.

Then *rrrrrriiiiiiiiiinnnnggggg rrriiiinnnnnggggg*

ring ring ring until like 3 mins then they *tooooot tooooot toooot*

wah not forget it bahx then i continueto excercise until 3 plus.

She asked me to call her at 3 too so i did.. Then.. *rrrrriiiiiiinnnnngggg* she never pick up.

RAWR! Next morning you know what she said!?

" Sorry Last night i sleep at 3 i charging my phone never see."

Wah she had her beauty sleep at 3 i had mine at 4.30? Cause of the coffee... =="

In the morning also drink coffee again. Otherwise later my pastro talktalktalk on the sermon i snoresnoresnore. Haha

Wanna Know Who She Is? Its.. BOH YAH JUAN WINNIE.

Well.. Anyway had loads of fun with her [: She is forgiven!

I dont seem to know you anymore.
You are like someone i dont seem to trust since then.
You Lied, Betrayed, Back stabbed.
Whats wrong with you? Your changed made me feel like shooting a bullet through your brain.
In order to wake you up from your weird world.

I dont know whats going through your mind.
You are someone i dont wish i ever met, seen or had fun with.
I feel like its a waste of time. You are not who you used to be.
Many people misses the old you. I guess you changed.. for the worse.
Are you going crazy or you just want to be an Ah Lian Wannabe?
I guess i understand if the answer is both.

Get A life. Stop those foolishness. Grow Up. And dont make anymore people hate you as you hate them. Your "best" friends seems to be your enemy now. You make wars not harmony anymore. You were my bestie, sister or maybe my other twinnie. I heard your cries You laughter your joy. And even your relationship problems. Where are you my dear friend...?
I hope this is just a passing nightmare of you. I hope i wake up soon but in order for me to wake up, you have to wake up first...

Oh That temptation again.

To bleed red tears and feel the hurt again.

Those words ' Slashing is my thing. Emo-ness is LOVED. Penknife is MISSED.'

Those words.. Please God I prey get them out.

Slash..Cut..Hurt..Pain..Blood..Penknife..Tears.. Sadness..Emo..Frown..Drown..Break down..Slit..Death..Die..Scream..Plee..Red

NO. HO HUI JUAN MARILYN! YOU BETTER STOP IT! STOP CORRUPTING YOUR CRAZY MIND. YOU ARE CRAZY ENOUGH TO GET EVEN MORE CRAZIER.*slap*oww.. Ok. I hope that woke me up..

Rachel jie: Yes I WANTED to. My Silent Whispering Cried. But I controlled. I am Sorry.D;

Amalina A.K.A Sexybutt [sex bomb] : I DID Cry on the bus. Well you did cheer me up! [:

Zhe Hui: I WAS emo. Trying not to be now [:

Chien Yee and Tricia: I did not. WANTED TO. but.. DID NOT! :D

-My Little Confessions.-

Moving On With My Blissful Life.

Sorry But Was Not Free THE WHOLE WEEK.

Tiring today is the only day i can come home early and FINALLY use the computer!

YEAH! Pretty busy for like..FOREVER.

Wanted to Audi but haish.. Mantainence.. Everytime i wanna play then Mantainence..

Man.

You Ignore, You Give The Cold Shoulder, You Dont Seem To have a heart anymore, I am just thin air, someone you cant seem to know. Nor see anymore. I whispered you just turned around and be gone. I cried Red Tears, I felt like just breaking down before you. I Hate That I Love You. Missed you ever so much but after all the ways you treated me i felt like a POS there. But i am grateful for that. I have now moved on to another Life and not missing the old. Continue with that and i tell you, you are someone whom i dont know anymore. I will forget totally who you are and someone whom i am yet to meet some time in the future. Not missing you, Not bleeding, Not crying, Not screaming, Not searching for you ANYMORE.

It Always Ends Up The Same.

I Guess It all goes back to Hurt.
Again.TT.TT
But i do promise no red painful tears. No more childishness of that. That was the chapter before now of my life.

To Raptor:
How can you force someone to accept you? I dont know you anymore. Leave me alone. I WAS with you in audi. Never in real life and it will NEVER happen to be me and you ever again. Let me go. Let me Be. Let me leave. Please I beg of you. I want to be free from you but you made it to the extent to me not wanting to talk to you. So this is my answer to you. Sorry. No.

RAPTOR is LOVED!
Wow...Tried Only Twice And We Finally Won Our Price><
MADNESS!

*EDITED AND ITS NEVER GONNA BE CHANGED.*
SORRY. D;

GB. D;

Gonna probably quit GB.
And join Drama. MAYBE [: Well atleast its something new and different! GB.. Did it since p3? I am DYING for something DIFFERENT! Well Joey went with me and talk to Delia.. Have to see Miss Ong.. Talk to miss [what?I forgot..@ . @]... parents letter... Have to sell GB uni to someone.. Change badge.. Man..ok mah fan. But well its worth it! I do feel bad in a way like I let GB 3coy down.. TT.TT I pang seh Friends too. Teachers maybe? But i am dying to try something DIFFERENT! DRAMADRAMADRAMA. ;DD I want.. DRAMA!! D;
Confuse bah.. Well ok fine drama. [: DONE.

Today Amalina Sick also. Sent her to G.O. Had PE which seems like eating my muscles. Oww.. Well Now its like 1 ++ am. No more FOM on Sat.Its a good thing to Winnie! [: Haha. Was a crazy night. Got headache. 3 people hurt on the same night. Haish.. CHEER UP PEOPLE! [: Helped all three i guess.. Except 1. FAILURE! Oh man. It will take a while i guess.

I got a new nick name from Winnie. Whenever she sees me in the same Audi room as her she says.. POOPY! Cool. Haha. 'Hi I am Poopy! Nice to meet you!' That is gonna be my new intro line! ;D GTG. Buaii![: