"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you..." Jeremiah 29: 11-14a
Friday, October 24, 2008
Happy Birthday YingWen!
Finally a beautiful 14 eh Math partner! :D HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D Miss those times in math class when you always laugh at me for doing stupid stuff! I miss those times when you always say " See your fault!" to me even when you forgot to bring YOUR OWN HOMEWORK. :P Thank you for always helping me in math class. Thank you for always going " OHHHH HAND PHONE!" when I use my phone sometimes during class and telling me when Ms Shamsiah is coming. :x ONCE AGAIN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D
Thursday, October 23, 2008
superman.
LIKE A DUH! ><
oh superman, let me be your supergirl & take me away from this cruel world.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Change PLACE! :D
Oh darn, why!? WHY! Why didn't Mrs Wong go with the first GENIUS plan!? It's like the ultimate best darn thing! Oh well, but guess who's my new seat buddy? ASHIM PAPA! :D Hahaha, MADNESS. Oh my goodness, I've never laughed this much since I came to Shanghai! It's like I'm going back to myself again! :) Today, is the day I smiled and laughed the most... SO FAR! :D I was sitting with Mark at first, changed to be beside Christy now, I moved one seat to me right and HELLO ASHIM PAPA, MACY & AARON! I don't talk to Aaron much, but I WILL. :D Our sitting positions for back row NOW:
AMANDA & AMY & MACY MICALLA THERESA & MARK
ASHIM& MARILYN AARON CHRISTY & ROGER
This is the last 2 rows and Max is placed in front... TO PISS TEACHERS OFF! Mrs Wong said " I want to put you away!" But she didn't cause if she did, he will be sitting with either Mark, Roger or Aaron. HAHA :D
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I miss those times when we went opposite to buy snacks and played on the swing, taking turns to push each other..
I miss those times when we sneaked hello panda and Oishi crackers into classes and eat while pretending to yawn, cough and sleep..
I miss those times when we had one stick of sweet, we took turns tearing bits of it apart for ourselves and continued passing them around..
I miss those times when we celebrated Miss Cai's bday and she kept asking " Where is the whole class!?"
I miss those times when we had 120 countdown and we sang our hearts out and danced to the beat.. And I miss the part where I kept screaming " GET INTO A CIRCLE! CIRCLE! CIRCLE!" and you guys still danced and ignored me, instead got me dancing with you guys too..
I miss those times when we stayed for the Fairfield's official birthday and we stood on chairs and sang out loud..
I miss those times when Mrs Rama is talking to herself and stoning while we were going insanely crazy..
I miss those times when we all stood up for each other for not handing in homework or someone's phone rang or for being naughty in Chinese class while driving Wang Lao Shi mad..
I miss those times when we proved to each other that Wang lao shi didn't understand the F word by shouting FUCK in the middle of her speech and she turn to us and ask us to keep quiet..
I miss those times when we all cheated in TING XIE and passing Chien's book around the class..
I miss those times when I closed my eyes and walk pass Ms shamsiah, in the end she shouts: MARILYN! COME BACK HERE! because of my attire and you guys had to wait for me :x..
I miss those times when we camwhored together..
I miss those times we painted our classroom (JAMZ)...
I miss those times we had attire check during assembly and no one gets caught cause we all act guai..
I miss those times when we jumped in Chapel..
I miss Sec2 camp when we became oh so bonded and cheered each other on..
I miss those times when we sat outside our lockers and played games like WHO WHAT HUH..
I miss those times when we went to bbq and start gossiping..
I miss screaming and running around the field when it's PE..
I miss funfair when we all combined money to get the highest bet to dunk Ms Shamsiah..
I miss those times when YMCA played and we all sing and dance while walking and getting everyone's attention..
I'LL GIVE UP EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SPEND JUST ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU GUYS. I WILL. EVEN IF I HAVE TO GIVE MY LIFE, HAVING YOU GUYS AS A LAST MEMORY BEFORE MY FINAL BREATH IS THE BEST. I LOVE AND MISS 2F'08..
Even though my wish, on my wish list seems impossible, who says I can't hope?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
21st Oct
Mummy: You've been super patient with me! :x Me doing my work is all you wanna see. I KNOWWWWW >< Thanks for always cheering me up in different ways when you somehow know I'm sad. :) Thankyou! :D
Roger: Your blurness is what I laugh at ><>< Even when you are right and Mark's wrong :x. But you don't say anything. You just give that face: ._. then look back down. HAHA :D You really made me laugh on Monday about the poster thingy we had to do for physics. The three Ms against one R. And all the Ms are all female against you, a male! HAHA :D Thank you for all that laughing non stop times. :)
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I've found a song to tell my life now at this point. Now it's on repeat on my phone, my com and officially, my head.
I've finally made you smile, a true smile. Happiness is now creeping into you. :) I'm happy! That's like the best gift that anyone can give me. Talking to you is something I can't stop myself from doing so. Finding out that you lied again is not what hurts. It's the reason why you did. Stop saying it's your fault.
Slashing, self harm is somthing I really don't like. Cause me looking at the bruises and blood stain not only hurts my eyes, but my heart too. Be it enemy too, it just hurt real bad deep down.
Today went to Old folk's home during C&S. Very fun! I laugh everywhere I go! The old people super cute can! Then we made friends with this nainai I forgot her name. :x Harry, Christy and I were together. We went zou zou with her, we went to excercise with her, we went to the "playground" for old people with her and we went to this garage where had a pile of Mu Gua and alot of wood and this SUPER ANCIENT WEIGHING SCALE. The nai nai demostrate for us. :D We so guan xin her okay! She like wobbeling! :o I was like oh my goodness, hip hip nai nai must also be careful ah! Those nai nais we spoke to all say Harry and I very tall and Christy still growing :x. Christy, YOU WILL GROW! :D We were having so much fun with that nai nai that we forgot about the time! We made the whole group wait for 5 mins, :x sorry people >< ..I'm sorry..I want you to be strong, but I cant recover that fast yet.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Cai Sheng..
If you didn't realise I lied about not wanting to find you.
If you didn't realise I wasn't always smiling today.
If you didn't realise I still care.
If you didn't realise I got hold back for doing something crazy.
If you didn't realise I tried to catch up with you to do that insane thing.
If you didn't realise I just gave up trying to go after you.
If you didn't realise I still kept that message.
If you didn't realise I still have my weakness.
If you didn't realise I myself was going crazy.
If you didn't realise I tried to make you take the chance till the end.
If you didn't realise I'm sorry.
If you didn't realise You blew it again..
Why do I keep running away from the truth? Cause I'm trying trying to walk away but I know it won't be this easy.
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Let: Check yes Juliet by We the Kings, introduced to me by Nigel replay on my phone non stop. Blocking all other noises out, retreating back to my own world. Whatever anyone said to me today besides during lessons, I only see your mouths moving but I don't hear the words cause I just want the song to blast in my ears at maximum volume. Can't really concentrate in class, just feel like sleeping. Lost my appetite, even chocolate mousse cake tasted like candle wax. I wonder how long this stomach gonna stay closed, feel so full even if I didn't eat at all. Forcing the cake down, felt like I was pushing a whole sewage system down my throat. It tasted terrible on my tongue, it felt sick when it was going down my throat and it feels like it choke up my whole intestine.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
giving up.
eat all the magnum left in the fridge.- drink 2.4 litres of coke and pop the whole tube of mentos in.
Oh come on, melamine is in everything that contains very little milk too! Magnum contains loads of it but it's a gamble. && drinking coke with mentos WONT KILL YOU. i hope.
Leaning to Heavily on another person, regardless of how committed he or she seems, is to set ourselves up for disappointment.
-Personal Correspondence April 1987.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus.
Hebrews 12:2
Reality

I'm telling you to not cry. I'm telling you to smile. Cause the times were beautiful. Like I said, if you cry, you show that you did not like it at all. Not a single bit. You say I know you. I do. I do know you. But what can anyone do when reality hits so hard and crashes you down? CRY. I know its hard not to cry but it seems to be the only way to relieve the pain. You can always cry then smile. Cause this is not the end. This is not the end of our friendship. I know it's not. We still have many bite size future ahead to go on together. Crossing crocodile lakes, Sliding down the rainbow and letting music bury us deep into the soil of earth. You ask me why. Why things turn out this way. All I can say its because of our decisions that led to this route. Our decisions in life that make us smile or cry. Two different routes but most of the time, we choose the route that makes us cry cause the final prize at the end is a blurry image. Now when we're on this narrow route, there's only one exit. The one that hurts the most. I'm staying strong for you buddy. Though I'm in it, I'm staying strong for you. I'll always be here for you. You're still my buddy. Someone I can see through like windows and read you like an address on the door. We've 3 routes. Now one is close, we still have 2 more. Yes, we do. I'm sorry bud for causing you this hurtful pain. But I dont want to stop listening to you cry. I dont want to stop listening to your laughter. I dont want to stop doing stupid things with you. :) Smile, cause you're still cared & loved.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL YEO JIE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL YEO JIEJIE! :D
Finally a 14 to be proud of! Stand strong for your faith no matter what. Shine for God. Let God use you to shine for Him. You are unique in your own way. No one can tell you how or who you are like. No one can judge you because no one is perfect. Everyone have different characters in their own ways! :) Praise God for letting you come to this beautiful age. I love you loads Jiejie! :) && I still cant wait to go back to Singapore to swim with you again. Push you in the pool (I still have not taken revenge!) Haha, :D KAP KAP KAP!
17th October 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHE HUI! :D
I'm sorry for wishing you one day late. And blogging about it 2 days late! >< I'm sorry bud! Always smile! :) Don't let that smile of yours fade! Oh and our NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: SKIP AROUND FMSS NON STOP. I challange you there buddy! Haha, :D Thank you for always staying up with me. Accompanying me, making sure I sleep early and not grow old faster. HAHA :D Thankyou! :)
Friday, October 17, 2008
Cai Sheng.
I'm worrying, I'm troubled. Coming up with thousands of excuses why you're like this, I turn back to smile at you again. Showing you, I'm always with you and caring. Things are flooding your mind, with cast out pains. You sleep it off, but the pain in your loving heart closes every window and door. The pain in you stays deep rooted there. It's a resident, unwelcomed that occupies. I asked everyday whenever my eyes met yours if you're okay. You always give that smile I've not recognise and reply with a answer, lying to me that you're okay. Where's that loving heart I'm familiar with? Where's the caring smile with every drop of happiness?
I know I've not been spending efficient time to bond with you and understand you better. I know your wishes, I know your hopes. I know your tears, I know your prayers. You're turning cold, you're not the summer's day anymore. Now, you're autumn's dusk. When I was cold, as cold as snow. As silent as snow fall. You were my spring budding warmth, and making me summer's dessert. Why have you stopped telling me how you feel? You even hurt the brightside for the first. The brightside stood still, heard you coldly whisper those words again and began to let drops of twinkle that reflected the moon fall like an Amazon waterfall.
While you are wearing the mask of emotions, I'm wearing the mask of smiles. Behind this curtain of threats I stood, trying to pull you out of the sinking sand pit. Picking you up from the dirt, dust you clean and give soul warming kisses to tell you someone here cares and ain't giving up on you. I believe you're strong. I know you are not anywhere near weak but slipping into breaking down is where you might fall in. Like ice in the sink, slowly melting down the cold horrid place of the drain. Don't give up. I'm always here for you. I love you.
I'M NAIVE. I KNOW. BUT I'M HAPPY, THAT'S ME! :D
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
HIGH!
okay, alrighty! :D
On Sunday, I stayed over at Anna's house after church. Monday had school but we had to do our music. :) We bought like snacks and WANG LAO JI for the movie we planned to watch, SKY OF LOVE. When we finished the movie which was like.. 12.30? We still were so high and crazy so we decided to continue with music. WHO KNEW MUSIC WAS SO ENERGY SUCKING!? Like from : O.O (I can't find anything bigger than this!) to ._. (like super small and puny like our eyes became penknife slits!) Then we decided to plan for our CCA that we got so inspired by Bryan. Until 3.30. We turned off the lights that was shining into our eye cave and pulled the blanket like tag of war! (sound like little puppies. Oh, whatever! Shuddup Marilyn!) Okay anyways, we started talking. Actually it was Like: ME ME ME ANNA ME ME ME ANNA ANNA sorry, I'm so talkative. :x Forgive me Anna for your sore ears listening to me babble hahaha, :D Soon I was like.. sleeping in between words so we decided to sleep. Sleep.. Sleep. With Anna and I locking hands, skipping through our crazy pupu land until...... " WAKE UP! 7.30 ALREADY!" We vanished from our beautiful land and opened our eyes. Then came to our senses and we at first: o.+ huh? to O.O OH NO! 7.30 ALREADY! RUSH!! Well, that was when I was welcomed into Anna's Life of RUSH. I had to go with the FLOW. Brushing teeth like a vibrating robot. Eating our pao like garbage can, open throw in, Close. && it is gone from our mouth. Go school, took school bus FOR THE FIRST TIME and found out how BUMPY it is. I felt like a pop corn can! Sorry, I'm eating pop corn now :x but yes,like a pop corn! Okay, and hello school!
Tuesday:
(i cant remember.. o.o okay NEXT DAY.)
TODAY!
I'M MIGHTY HIGH NOW AS YOU CAN ALL TELL! I DONT KNOW WHO SMUGGLED THE WHOLE OF MR WILLY WONKA'S FACTORY INTO MY BLOOD. I BET ITS SOME OOMPA LOOMPA. Sorry, too high to focus! Okay, sent momma home, drop bag off, went macs, treat anna, ate, burped, puked. No, macs is not that bad. No melamine *I HOPE! O.O* Aiyai, melamine no more liao. I still lagging somewhere.. Then, went to Anna's house. Watched poor Victoria get screamed at by a scary moomoo. I saw the look on her face my heart went out to her! Like oh my! Bad moo moo! DOWN! Ah, full of crap eh me. AIYAI! :x okay, finished music like a finally! HALLELUJAH! okay, go home. Bathe, sing like some off key cat in the bathroom and ate something my mom cooked. Like to try my mom's fish. LIKEANOTBAD! :D Then, use com. Pop popcorn, eat, type, eat. Yeah until now! :D hehheh! okay done. MY LIFE IN... 4 days! :D
AND GOD IS SO FABULOUS AWESOME CAN! YUNXIN IS COMING TO SHANGHAI *the polluted, blinding and nose blocking city* !!!!!!!!!! :D WAHAHAHAHAHA! AND MELANIE IS COMING 3 DAYS AFTER THAT! THEN RICHELLE IS COMING A FEW DAYS AFTER THAT TOO! LIKE HELLO, YOU'VE GOT TO LOVE MY LIFE TOO RIGHT? :D HEHHEH! Okay soooooooo high.. o.o Ohmy.. tomorrow..
Got music performance. *sinks back. legs start shivering. start biting nails* OH HELLO!? I'm MARILYN! :D NOT SCARED! GAN GAN GO UP! BANG BANG CHAIR LIKE AH SIAO THEN GO BACK TO MY SEAT SMILING LIKE ITS SUPER GLUED ON MY FACE! :D
Oh, ANNA WITHOUT YOU, I'LL PROBABLY BE STUCK IN GOOGLE TO HELP ME. CHRISTY, WITHOUT YOU THERE WONT BE A LEFT HAND! JOY, WITHOUT YOU, THE SONG IS SO OFF KEY! :D Everyone, KAMPA TEH KAMPA TEH OII AH OII AH! I don't know.. I can't stop saying that since today PE! :o
Friday, October 10, 2008
Pleasure? F Liers!
They are those with looks but no heart.
Therefore looks become, LIKEADUNG too.
Not only they are lacking a heart but integrity and dignity too.
So not worth the time. So not worth the love.
You might find it a pleasure huh, but have you ever gave a little care? A little concern on those girls you're actually two timing or cheating on? Boys without integrity or dignity should have no balls because they betrayed themselves. What happened to pride too? Guess that's another thing they are lacking too! :)
Oh well, so not worth the time right? Shall stop here. :) Girls who have been cheated, are cheated and being cheating on now, I know you are strong. :) Stand up to what's right and never ever get pushed down by another play boy again because, you have a life and a loving heart too! :D
If its the other way round, than that playgirl, should be ball-less too! And those guys, strong eh! :D
Those who are in a stable relationship, you're blessed. :)
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Chem class
In chem class...
Miss Chui: You know, my favorite topic to teach in science is about sexual reproduction.
Brenna: My brother told me that you like to teach on the topic of condoms.
Miss Chui: Yeah and teach them which condom is good by putting it on the..
Someone shouted: MIDDLE FINGER!
Miss Chui: No, Water bottle opening. Then it tore and I said," See condoms are not very strong" so I teach them which is strong!
Brenna and I: DUREX!
Class: *Laugh*
Christy: What is durex?
Me: A condom brand!
Pictures.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Nothing is so beautiful.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
It's already lost.
The 3 words I can't let go. I keep reading it over and over, it's my trun to take the pain you've gone through and came out bravely from. I deserve it.
Don't have the right frame in mind, the mood and heart to blog today.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Bestfriend.
I so regret not messaging you. Cause you're dancing in my head all day.
I'm still waiting for you impatiently with memories like thousand swords piercing through my head. I know you visit my blog, but you always leave without a mark because I've hurt you in that heart. You read the poem, you cried I know. I read it again, I myself cried. That shows how much I've been so blinded by my own selfish life that I've left you behind and never ran back for you. But now, I'm running this long journey back to you. Back to your heart. To pick you up again cause this time, you fell because of me. I hurt you. I know I did which made a deep cut in you. Talking to you again made me realise its not just a cut, but a whole wreckage there deep down in you. But when I speak, I'm trying to mend each broken piece that I caused. I know it feels weird like nails pierced into you when I speak because me nailing a new wooden board to fix your heart, you feel the nails so you hold back. Time heals all wounds is a saying I believe in sometimes. But now, I strongly believe in this case.
Sometimes I do wonder if this is my life. Is this the road I chose. Is this Me? Everything comes crashing against me like waves against the rocks below the lighthouse. I didn't use to run away from my fears. Now I am. Trying to stop running with the wind and turn back to face it but the wind blows so hard against my face I close my eyes and I feel fearful of my fear. But running was never the solution. BESIDES LOSING WEIGHT. I know what I must do. Fix back this distort road I picked because we learn best through experience and hurts. We grow from them. Will you give me a chance to make it up to you and bring us back together again? I'll try though I've failed before. You use to say you were amazed at how we never did quarrel and get angry at each other. I broke that.. Though we did not quarrel, I hurt you which creates anger in me for I have been such a blind fool.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Poems.
She lay by me as stars shone,
Till the break of dawn.
She kept me accompanied
At times she hints me with her needs.
It's her I must track.
Still on this journey,
To reunite with my dear looney.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
PARIS TRIP! :D
The trip back was tiring but well, atleast this plane has a personal screen and we get to watch MOVIES! :D I watched 2 movies. Though I watched them before, I watched it again because it reminded me of who I watched these 2 movies with. One f the movie is SECRET The one that Jay Chou directed. I watched it with Melanie. I remember at one point when Jay Chou said, " Ni Xi Huan Qing Tian Hai Shi Yu Tian?" I remembered turning to Melanie and exclaim, " QING TIAN!!!! :D" I miss Melanie really badly. I cried in the airport cause of me missing her okay! Screw those who turned and stare! >:) Watching a girl cry is like watching Hollywood right!? haha ><>
2nd night went to watch Moulin Rouge. Each person gets a half bottle of Champaigne. Sadly, I can't drink and my parents get a additional small bottle extra. But since they can't finish it either, we had new friends made who came from Brisbane Aussie.
So pack! I got a bottle too! But a bottle of evian water.. This was the first time I queued up like how you see people queueing up for a one day free room for the homeless in America. Its like blocks and blocks away from the building itself. But it was alright. :) The show was alright but the female costumes a little TOO revealing. Well, it's their culture i guess. :) Unique in their own way.
The streets in Paris is lined with Cigrette buds on every path way. Scattered with Autumn leaves and used metro tickets like bird seeds on a farm everywhere on every road, track and step. People smoke like a choo choo train. Streets at night arn't safe. If you stay out late at night you will feel like you're a lost lamb with thousands of wolves around the corners looking at you secretly.
Took many pictures, seen many places, roam many streets. All in love city of, Paris. When you enter any grocery shop in the morning, you will see sales assistants sliding digits off price boards and sliding them back in. Reminded me of Anna's iPhone on how to unlock. Oh silly me, I thought it was like Wii. :x I miss ANNA LING. Screw those who went to Retreat!! D: Oh manzxzxz I can't wait for the next retreat! :D
As you enter metro stations, you'll take the opportunity to warm your shivering toes and frozen feet. As you leave each station, you look down, push your hat lower towards your brows and slowly take each step out, as the chilly wind blows.
Today I went to visit the cathedral of Notre Dame. We took our hats off in respect, entered and greeted the nuns. Saw thy pope. A jolly man is he. Many people came to explore. Walked around and watched every crack in every walls with many art sculptures of angels, saints, baby Jesus, Crucifics and Mother Mary everywhere. It's Catholic. Every little step I took, I looked up to the other levels, in high hopes of meeting Quasi Modo, the bell ringer known to little kids all over the world from the story Hunched back of Notre Dame from Disney. He's real, he is a bell ringer. Whether he's hunched back or not, I'm one who is eager to know. I don't even know if he is the one who still ring this beautiful bells. I don't know what's his true identity, true story. Is he still gliding around these church walls? I've no idea.
Paris, a city you might dream off but comes out in reality totally different. It's still beautiful. Unique in it's own special way. Will upload loads of pictures when I return from Paris. I sure will! :)
Watch these 3 conversations that happened yesterday that really made me laugh.
1st conversation.
Mom: Do you have honey?
Waitress: Miel?
Dad: nono, not milk. HONEY.
Waitress: Miel?
Dad: No. You know bee? BZZZZZZ and Honey?? Sweeeeet. And bee BZZZZZ
Me: HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Waitress: MIEL!
Mom: okay, just bring it out.
*waitress brings MIEL out*
We learned a new french word: Miel = HONEY.
2nd conversation.
*we were walking along the city streets, looking for a good place to eat. We walked pass this restaurant. We checked the price out when...*
Waiter 1: Bon Jour! Hello! Ni HAO! (:
Waiter 2: KONICHIWA! :D
Dad: Hello. We're just cheking the menu out.
Waiter 1: Look, we've got a good place for you! Very comfortable!
* Points at an empty table* And look! Everyone here is HAPPY! All SMILING! *points to people*
Dad: HAHA! Wow, he's a good business man! HAHA!
Me: HAHAHAHHAHA ><>
3rd conversation.
Mom: Can I have Jam please?
Waiter: Jamo?
Mom: Ah yes yes.
*waiter brings out JAMO*
Me: Why the plate he's carrying so flat?
*waiter lays plate*
Guess what. JAMO means HAM.
So cute haha! :D
As you walk the streets of Paris, it's like unwrapping your Christmas present slowly, one corner at a time. Slowly revealing Paris, the country as the gift and the wrapping as the streets.
Pictures, ENJOY! :D



