Seeing you again.

Flipping through my books, I see your picture again.Memories of the times you kept me happy and the times I've gotten you in trouble just came back on replay.Nothing much happened but I remembered confessions.Your sweet voice I would love to hear once I got home,I dailed your number over and over.Talk for hours I loved,I lay in bed watching stars.Watching you and I danced.It's all in the past, recorded and embraced, playing like a sweet melody.

Auzzie fun.

One week plus has passed. A few more days and I am rocking back at shanghai. :D Haha :D I sure miss loads of people! Some from Singapore like.. Amalina.. RachelYEO.. Abram.. Chienyee bingbing.. Joey.. Junyuan.. Nigel.. Zhe Hui.. Yunxin.. aiyo loads more. x}

I miss blogging too. So used to blog everyday and these few days I go to sleep so not at ease. Have been on a shopping spree recently cause Melissa gave me $100 in cash to spend. && Gosh, it's so not enough. 3 shops and *byebye money* T^T Haha but she's so nice, she help me TOP-UP! Hahaha, :D That's what working older sisters do for you! Today is just a lazy day. I spend the whole morning: zzzzzz I woke up for the first time during hols, THE EARLIEST EVER: 8am. && Guess what, ate breakfast, slugged back to bed and continue: zzzzzzzz Woke up at 12pm. Tried to carry Melissa T.T FAILED. Nearly broke my back? Guess so! XD after lunch went to the tv room. (It’s not the living room) She showed me how a BABY IS CARRIED! && obviously I am the one being practiced on. && she smacked my ass an awful loads of time real hard! T^T Today's weather looks good, probably gonna hit the beach later. Get a tan or so and SURF THE BLUE WAVE not crimson. NOT YET at least. :}

I am being so pampered by my granparents. :3 Cause I am the youngest of their youngest child. (My pops is the youngest child && I am his.^^) Though I am not the youngest cousin anymore, cause Jemma is here to play with me on earth, Its obvious, everyone can tell they are rather bias to me o.o Isn't it sweet! d: Norman and Melissa is gonna bring us fishing while having a picnic on new year's eve and the night before, we are gonna watch the gorgeous fireworks at the Harbour Bridge. :D I can't wait for fishing but my dad and norm plans to make me the bait for sharks! They say its a good chance to practice swimming as fast as possible! Hahaha, THEY WISH! I shall make them pull me back instead! dx Auzzie has loads of shark seen recently, THE GREAT WHITE. Cool, anyone up for shark's fin? Cause I am shark's bait! I'm ready to be sent to the hospital without a leg! d:
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To Jingyi Laogong:
No matter what situation that makes you think you are not superman anymore, NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE WRONG. Cause so what if you failed your piano? There goes some cash and time but all pro pro people became pro pro by learning from their failures! No one can learn anything from success can they? Because since they so pro, learn what! Just learn from your mistakes and it becomes a success so you can finally become a pro pro pianist! You are my superman through thick and thin. You are my superman no matter what. Its not your label which tells you who you are, but its the person of how people thinks of you as, and guess what I think you are MY superman. d: Though fat fat santa can't come and fit through my chimney, you have been fit through my heart and not only that, but engraved there. You didn't practice much of my favorite classical, river flows in you but it sounded like heaven's magical melodies being played through you, you skipping on the keys, black and white came out like rainbows. Though you might need to retake this test, learn from where you have gone wrong and practice. I will be there for you to listen too! If you want to stay back during lunch to play in the music room, be my guest because you will find me sitting there beside you, being carried like a baby angel in God's arms listening to the mystical harmony being played by you. && I promise you, whenever you want me to pray for you again, I will.

I love you laogong jingyi, MY SUPERMAN.

Boxing day 2008

My first post made during my trip in auzzie. Yesterday was Christmas and today is boxing day. SO GONNA GO SHOPPING! d: Sweet eh? xD Anyways, this year is the first Christmas spent like any ordinary day but yet unique. My past 13 years of Christmas is spent in parties and chaos and floods of noise. This Christmas is sitting on the roll-y chair, blanket over, watching non stop HEROES and movies. Goodness, I am hooked onto Heroes. && seriously loving HIRO! He is so cute! We finished the whole of Heroes Season 2 non stop. && Watched a little of Season 3. Took many pictures! I am in my sister's shared house, the night before Christmas stayed over at my SOON to be brother in law's place. Last night was at my sister's shared house. Macs can be a little irrits.. Haha cause I am not used to it. d: But it is cool. {: I will upload pictures when I get back to Shanghai. {: Especially the meals I prepared with my eldest sister, Mellie. {: 

5 days without talking to you, ask me how long I can survive.

Hearing your voice is what I crave, I miss you so badly bi. Looking at the neoprints that we took, looking at my phone's display picture just makes me stir all over inside. God is merciful to extend your stay yes? Cause He knows I will bleed to death. d: One week down, one more to go. I love you alot! {: Happy BELATED one month bi! One month that was filled with love, joy, happiness, care, concerns, laughter, smiles, hugs, warmth && loads loads more stuff! You changed my life, detoured my heart and taught me alot of important things to life. You showed me what means more than the past. You taught me what the present can be filled with much more than you expect and the past is something that is there, cant be erased but the present we change can make it better. As we are making history everyday. {: Thankyou bi, I love you loads. <3

I miss Ashim bi, Laogong Jingyi && darling Christy rather badly!{:

&& of course, many more.

Stop over.

Left Shanghai this afternoon and now, I stopped over at Singapore. Some crazy friends came and gave me a huge surprise! Inside I was pointing with my eyes bigbig and going: OMG OMG OMG!!! xD Managed to catch up with them too! I miss them loads and wow, did they change! But among them I changed the most? :x Sexbomb was still the same crazy her, Rachel Jiejie SLIGHTLY different, she dont rape me liao. That's the diff haha. Chienyee bingbing still the crazy raping girl xD Abram papa still the same too, Kanghao now looks cooler x) && Junyuan is TALLER!! He is now TALLER than me! Gosh! Last time he was the same height as me you know! Now he is like WOW. :o Haha, at first I didn't recognise him till I met the SLR bag that he always carry with him xD TYPICALLY JUNYUAN! Haha, :D Well, telling you guys what a week I had was really, burden lifting and you guys telling me loads of other hysterical stuff! I wish I was more like that in shanghai..

I will upload the group pics we took before I left for the lounge to ENJOY myself hahahaha xD I want to thank you guys for coming, you guys really brought back the MARILYN I myself missed.. Thanks guys, love you all loads! {:

[edited @ 10.53pm]

Friday is the day I didn't really planned it would become.. But at the same time, I am thankful it did happen as every incident teaches you an important lesson and things to prepare you for the future. If it didn't happen, I wouldn't know when will this ever be cleared, or talked through. If it didn't happen, I wouldn't know the truth. If it didn't happen, I wouldn't have learn more about Jingyi. If it didn't happen, i wonder, when my next breakdown would be.. If it didn't happen, no one would have grown stronger, emotionally and mentally. Though its a day everyone calls: MAD or DEPRESSING, we have all benefited in a way. {: Thank God for that, cause all our sadness and troubles, tears and hurts, we should lay them all on Jesus. We do have difficult times that we have to go through but through this times, it may be the most hurtful or WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE, you do learn something from it. You grow and when the parallel situation happens, you know how to react now since you have been through almost the same incident.

what a day..

I don't like to talk about sad stuff, && today happens to be rather upsetting but it had an happily ever after as its ending. {:

Was rather mean to you today, but you did not give up on me.{: Thankyou bi. It's just that, many things has been going on in my head && I knew something bad was gonna |happen but I just can't say it out.. Cause clues were given to me what they were.. Just that it was not something I really expected. I was really quiet in class today. Till the point that Mr Ng came and ask me whether I am alright! Changing seats is something I need to get use to. Not hearing your voice whisper in my ear anymore is something which made me miss you terribly though I still can hear your laughter a few seats away.. I shall just cry every misses out:

1. Your voice whispering in my ear "I love you"
2. The shoe wrestle under the table.
3. Your cold hands, warming up in mine.
4. Your arms around my waist.
5. You hugging me from the back whenever I turn towards the door.
6. You sneaking to plant a kiss on my cheek in between lessons.
7. You helping me push back the lose strain of hair behind my ear.
8. You looking into my eyes asking whether everything is alright.
9. You laughing at me say "fuck you!"
10. Me lying on your leg.
11. Me trying to make you have goose bumps :P
12. YOU TRYING THE SAME xD
13. You letting me take your hand and put it against me face like my pillow.
14. You taking most opportunity to hold my hand during lessons. {:
15. You making me laugh over the silliest things.
16. You acting jealous and moving to the furthest end && I use all my might to pull you back and say "I love you".
17. You lending me your jacket to SNIFF!
18. You allowing me to rest my leg on yours..

I nearly cried cause I missed all those.. How dumb can I get.. But that was not the main point why.. It was because I realized I only have 11 days left with you && today was the last day I allowed my leg to rest on yours, surrender to you winning the shoe wrestle && you holding my hand in class.. Honestly I feel that there is a difference since the start to now. Last time we spend time during lunch together like there's no limit but now, its just simply different.. Cause you are too shy to ask. d: Its been 2 weeks since the last time __ ____-___.. But it's okay.. I have limited time with you, but I want and will treasure every sec I have with you cause I don't want to push you away no more. I love you Ashim Raj Joshi, my Bi. {:

:)

Have you ever have this wanting of something so badly but you dont want it to come at the same time for different reasons? Well, I have. :) You will go, "YAY! I want _______ to quickly come so I can _______ but.." Yeah, that is what I am saying this all day long. SYDNEY, here I come. I am so gonna crash my grandparents house like a little girl again and start rolling all over the carpet floor like a hamster. I did that the last time I visited xD. Chase after ice cream trucks with my oldest sister, help out with the DELICIOUS cooking with my Grandmammi, Drive down to the groceries store and speed around with the kart while helping pick items with Granddaddy, Play game cube with cousins, HIT THE BEACH and start swimming like maniacs, Play beach volleyball, shop at malls, make dinner with melly && watch EMOTIONAL movies with her! Those are the FEW things we did before && ARE GONNA DO! :D
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1)what's your full name?
Ho Hui Juan Marilyn.
2)Do you like your first name ?
Ofcourse! :D
3)How long have u liked the person u currently liked ?
Ever since 21st November && Earlier. {:
4)Have you kissed anyone in the last 48hours ?
Nope, ://
5)Did you cry today ?
I seldom cry && today wasn't a MARILYN's BREAKDOWN. :D
6)What were u doing at 8am this morning ?
In class, brain smashing thanks to BIO test.
7)What were you doing an hour ago ?
Computer. :D
8)What are you currently doing now ?
Msn-ing; Music Proj; Blogging.
9)Who last text you a message ?
Jingyi Laogong.
10)Have you told anybody that u love them today ?
Uh-huh, :x
11)Do you miss anyone now ?
Yes, Many many people.
12)Any plans for tomorrow ?
School, then home.
13)What was the reason the last time u cried ?
When did I last cry?
14)Is anyone with you now ?
Nope, I wished A FEW people would be here with me though.
15)Have you kissed anyone who's name starts with C ?
Uh-huh. o.o
16)Name someone who make you smile today, how ?
Everyone makes me smile! Especially Jingyi Laogong; Julian DLB && Ashim Bi! :D
17)Name a friend who's name starts with 'Z'
Zhe Hui.
18)Which of ur friend stays closest to you ?
Stanley, one lane away. Lols, :D
19)Do you prefer to call or to text ?
Text, it's an addiction.
20)Was yesterday better then today ?
Everyday is unique in its own ways. Everyday is beautiful && colourful! :D
21)Can you live a day without tv and your phone ?
Can. {:
22)Are you still mad about anything now ?
Hmm.. No. The last time I got angry.. p4? o.o
23)Do you ever think that relationships are really worth it ?
Who knows when your happily ever after might happen! {:
24)Last person your visted in the hospital ?
The doc. ://
25)When is ur last and second last hug ?
Last hug, in class today. 2nd Last hug, Jingyi yesterday.
26)What does the last text message in ur inbox says ?
10086 aka Time to top up card! xD
27)How do you feel about your life now ?
AWESOME. {:
28)Do you hate anyone ?
Hate, Never before, Never EVER.
29)Last person u called ?
Anna! :D
30)Who usually sent you the most texts in a month ?
Mixture. {:
31)Is your room messy now ?
Kinda :x
32)Who will be mad if your room is messy ?
Mammi. ._.
33)Your shortest relationship ?
6 days, yet the second best..
34)Who do you look like ?
Uniquely me. {:
35)Are you a happy or sad person ?
More like, CHEERFUL; CRAZY; MAD! :D
36)Do you know people who jack-off constantly ?
Haha, NO.
37)Who do you constantly tease and why ?
Currently, no one. xD I shall start tomorrow! x)
38)Do you hate the person mentioned above ?
There is no one..
39)If you could time travel,where and when will you want to go to ?
I would want to repeat 22nd November (: ; I am contented where I am now.

TOO BUSY.

I am piled up with homework && not feeling any stress YET. I wonder how stress feels like. o.o OKAY, back on task.

when I hear her voice say your name, I heard it break into a soft crack. I not only hear the pain in her voice, but in her heart like a thousand of whine glasses, smashed right into it. Leaving it bleeding in pain and agony.

[edited @ 11.38]

Tagged by - JULIAN; DLB! :D
1. The last person who tagged you is?
Julian!

2. Your relationship with him/her is?
My DLB. :)

3.Your impression of him/her?
Funny, good listener, caring etc.

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has done for you?
Listened to me whine and cry about my problems! xD

5. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever said to you?

All his lols and XD && "It's okay I am here for you.."

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
My DLB is my DLB && that remains as that. :)

7. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she will have to improve on?
SMILE EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHAT XD

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
My enemy? If he ever becomes my enemies I think we will be laughing at each other the whole YEAR ==

9. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her is?
Fulfill all his wishes.

10. Your overall impression of him/her is?
MY DLB! :D

11. How do you think people around you feel about you?
Hmm.. Crazy? QUIET (only ppl in china)? && baby ==

12. The character you love about yourself is?
HAPPY!

13. On the contrary, the character you hate about yourself is?
hmm.. Thankful for the way GOD made me. :)

14. The most ideal person you wanna be is?
MARILYN HO HUI JUAN.

15. Pass the quiz on to 6 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.
1. Jingyi
2. Christy
3. Cai Sheng
4. RachelYEO
5. Joey
6. Ashim

16. Who is number 6 having a relationship with?
❤ ME.

17. What is number 2 studying about?
spelling xD

18. When was the last time you had a chat with number 3?
1 sec ago.

19. Does number 1 have any siblings?
uh-huh, a little brother & little sister.

20. Will you woo number 3?
Let the past rest in it place.

21. What is the surname of number 6?
Joshi

22. What is the hobby of number 4?
Playing games and going kbox? xD

23. Where is number 2 studying at?
SSIS.

24. Talk something casually about number 1.
my LAOGONG. :D

25. What colour does number 4 like?
green && purple.

26. Is number 1 and number 5 best friends?
strangers not met.

27. How did you get to know number 2?
at the wedding hall, when I was gonna take her hand in marriage.

28. Does number 1 have any pets?
YEAH. ME! xD

Happy birthday Julian DLB! :D

HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY JULIANNNNN! :D
This picture looks.. BAD. Told you we need nicer pictures! xD Hope you enjoyed your birthday celebration on Saturday yes? :) Hahaha, :D Sorry I can't be there D: Cause I was in SUZHOU. Well, I would RATHER and PREFER to be at your birthday of course! :) It has been.. 4 months since we became DLBs! Gosh, time do pass by fast! :) I really am thankful to have a DLB like you. Someone I can cry, scream, laugh, smile, complain, whine && go insane to. haha, :D Someone whom I trust whole heartedly. :) You know loads of my secrets && Probably I know loads of your secrets! :D Cheering you up is something I enjoy since I can try my out most best to bring that smile back and high-5ing you has became an habit that I laugh at. Haha, :D Happy 14th Birthday DLB! SMILES! :D

SUZHOU (1)

I'm in SUZHOU like.. RIGHT NOW. :) Slept the whole morning once I reached the hotel. Was really tired.. Well, atleast I dont have triple eye lid or panda eyes anymore. Okay well, I wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIAN! :D But I dont have a pic now so.. I will re post this birthday wish again when I return. :) Watched pay it forward earlier, the second time I watched but at least I watched the whole show cause the first time I watched it was in C&S and teacher skipped a whole lot of parts. CRIED at the end.. It's so sad! D: The boy is so cute x3 but sadly he has to die.. T^T Hahaha, :D Okay gonna go to the nearby night market && SHOPPPPPPP!!! ^^

Jing feng lu's dump.

Much earlier at about 10.15 mammi, mel and I decided to go to Jing Feng Lu with 2 bags filled of recycled goods in our hands. We have been observing that place for quite a while and this same female pair usually come to the dump pile by the roadside to pick recycled goods to sell off and earn a few coins. To them these goods are treasure, to us they are mere rubbish to throw out and get rid of it so that it won't clutter up in our rooms. Looking at them dig with smiles on their faces, which is soiled with filth and dirt and clothings looks like they need a good wash and old rusty bikes parked by the side with a cart filled with tattered and torn cupboards, plastic bottles balancing at the top. When I passed them my bag filled of "treasure" I see their faces froze in amazement like we have just offered them a mansion made of gold and food. They thanked us politely, nodding their heads in humble respect. When I handed them my bag, my heart reached out to them, looking at their warm smiles in this cold night where they are busy at work. Love and compassion filled me and I realized how much they had for to just get a bowl of rice on their table. Hot or cold, they don't care as long as its something that fills their stomach daily and to give them energy to continue their way of leaving and that is to probably work in the day and dig for goods in the night. May Daddy God grant them mercy and take care and give them warmth everyday. In Jesus name Amen.

POLL!

I have decided to make polls every week. So for the poll of the week, this is what I've got. This is something I was CHALLENGED to prove my DLB. xD

cheering up. :)

Burning hole is all I can say..
Thankyou Jingyi LAOGONG, Julian DLB, Ashim BI && Amanda SIAOSIAO! xD Well, the first three certainly cheered me up with their funny ways. :) && Amanda, she cheered me up unknowingly hahahaha! :D Cause we are having such a weird convo!

Today forgot to bring the house key out. DARN, I camp outside my house door in the cold till night. Manzxs I could not feel my fingers, toes, nose and cheek! Waited for mammi && mel to return x.x I stayed in the cold for 4 hours! Shoots, should have brought more clothes out! I walked around my compound 3 times trying to gain warmth and CHEENA workers fixing up the house beside me, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Seeing a girl in a black hoodie with wire all entangled in her hands and hair outside her house very weird meh! Blow wolf whistles, how badly I wanted to go up there and stuff your mouth with your fingers; STAND AND STARE BEHIND THE WALL, come on out and look, and say hi atleast! Dont wait for me to glare back at you like I am gonna make your eyes pop out just with my glare; STALK, follow for what, GO BACK TO WORK! :P Seriously! >.<

2 more days and laogong is back!!! 34 more HOURS! :D

busy

Have not been blogging cause obviously I've been busy! x)

FRIDAY:
After cell group met Stanley and Cai outside. Cai told me Stanley stays at STRATFORD when he is actually staying IN my compound! I stay in no.43 and he stays at no.86! 2x my number xD. Okay anyways, back to the point we met and we walked one big round around OUR compound while shivering in the cold. && we finally decide to sit on the steps beside my house and chat. It was so funny, they seemed still a little drunk xD. && thanks for the DETAILS haha, :D really made me laugh! But since it was cold, more like a giggle. :) Went back in to MELT at about 12.15am. It was really fun chatting with them.

SATURDAY:
Went to pick Anna, head for kbox. Sang some songs and rocked the house down with METRO STATION shake it. && SEXYBACK! :D Went SOAR & headed to carrefour to do some groceries shopping with Anna for our egg tart we were making for pot bless on Sunday.

SUNDAY:
Met Anna, went to school to pick up stuff we forgot and went back to my house to bake with my sister's guidance, the egg tart. Was really tiring and YES, thanks to the AWESOME ANNA, I FINALLY watched TWILIGHT. :) Went to church after that. Yuppyupp, :)
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Today's Magnificent MONDAY! :D I shall start using EXPRESSIVE and HAPPY words to place in front of the very HEAVY word, MONDAY. Monday: MONster's DAY. Okay I cant help that cause well today I was really losing my mind. Let's just say if I told anyone in Singapore how I was today, they will totally flip and probably ask me whether I am dreaming or lying cause it's so not me. :) Oh well, && guess what PMS is quite a hard thing to get can! I tried getting it so I can make it the reason why I was like that today but guess what, I can't stop laughing at myself trying. Okay self- entertainment but well, I guess PMS is something I won't get.. YET(?) Haha, :D 3 more days till Jingyi is in my arms again! :D YES, time is killing but I am glad time is zooming past so fast too! :)

&& to PEOPLE out there: What is wrong with having a close close guy friend? Not like you must date every single guy that is nice to you right? Most BFF that last are mostly girl-guy. :P ACTUALLY you PEOPLE are right, we are more than friends.. WE ARE DLBs && Like SIBZ! Is that better since you guys insist so bad that we are more than friends? Yeah alright, I give in.(: But you should know something too, we have our own love life with different people, NOT EACH OTHER. Don't let your little minds wonder so far! Cause I am happy I've found such a close, trust-worthy and someone whom I can click with.
&& He's JULIAN.

4th dec 2008

I cant seem to upload more pics.. Blogger is so having probs! Will upload more in the next post!

People come, people go is something alot of people tell us when we say someone is gone. Well, they obviously forgot about those who come and stay. There are friends out there who stay and keep in contact while some others just probably use you and dump you aside after a while. We as human beings can't seem to stop making that mistake over and over. Sometimes people try to act maybe bitchy(?) or bimbotic (?) just to fit in a clique? Why, why cant you just be yourself and be happy and contented that there is a friend loving your personality, special and unique instead of acting like someone you are not and make people love you,when that is not really you. Sometimes we think yes, this is us but how wrong we can get when we realise that we are too use to acting this way and applying it to our lives and no one knows who is the real you not even yourself cause you are too busy trying and watching out for ways you can be like. We never treasure things around us much until when they are gone then we realise how important they are. Some friends probably use you by being really nice and label you BFF but they truly want you in their lives just to listen to their cries when they cant find anyone else to confide in, probably use you and take every advantage to hitch a ride? Or, talk to you only when you are alone with that person and have no one else to talk to. If you are treating anyone that way right now, I will say I pity you cause that shows how unstable your life is and you just take things for granted and only care about yourself..

Wow, I've got so carried away. :) I wonder, when will the true me come out and shine again.

Jingyi, I'm missing you oh so badly. Julian, get well soon && bi, I want to officially stop the jealousy thing. (:

Flying.

JULIAN IS BACK!!!! && Jingyi's not...
The past 3 days I've been chanting Julian's name and probably bugging Ashim, counting down the days and hours till he's back from singapore. Now he's back and Jingyi's gone off flying back to malaysia, I AM MISSING HER ALREADY CAN! D: I am gonna chant her name non stop, counting down the days, hours, mins and seconds till she reaches back into my arms! :D Before taking off, she rang my house phone up. Thank God I did not stay in school otherwise if I missed that phonecall I think I could have gotten into a very terrible depression. I believe she's strong, I've learnt alot about her and know she is feeling pretty numb now..

I give up TRYING to make you jealous even if its for fun. I give up teasing you. I give up acting how angry I am, that you caused the anger (though its for fun.) cause I realised how soon you're gonna go and I dont want to waste anymore precious time left I have with you.. If you want to win so badly, here you go I lose alright cause I've just realised every goodbye means alot and it prepares us for separation. If you did not forget to say bye today, I'd promise you I will still be as naive as usual and not realise how much time left..
BI aka Xiao pian zi, sha gua, ben ben; I do love you, && only you.

webcams with yun.

Was webcam-ing with yun yesterday before she left for sarah's. :) Really miss those crazy times and going KAP, growing fat with her! Hahaha, :D Her are some pics.