Game over.

I don't know about you but I'm done playing childish games with mindless lies.

"Forever" a word I've told you I never believed in and you proved me right. Once again. :) Don't we all love this game. So done with you thinking you've got the ball in your court because honey, you don't. You tell me one thing but do another, we are all watching in this theatre and shaking our heads in mockery and disappointment. Oh, just so you know I did give you plenty of chances, even these ones you asked for just to prove yourself. Oh, you proved yourself alright. You proved that you're nothing worth my time, attention or even breath anymore. Don't get me wrong, I've always cared but you never did. Go, take your ass-whip with you and be her little bitch. She's definitely right for you because she wears them pants well. We all love these games. I feel sorry for you... Only cause someone has to hah and you're the biggest loser here of the lot. Thanks for making me stronger. Goodbye.

Goodbye Summer

Ended summer with a boat party for Nicole and Mish's 21st. Probably one of the many amazing things to have happened to me this summer.

Looking back on this season, so much has changed. So many extremes of ups and downs. Loved and lost, losing myself entirely, my identity and not knowing who I am, feeling so torn between growing up and just living my age, people I meet and constantly associate with over this summer, exploring new places, seeing snow for the very first time and feeling very much alone with and without family.

I guess she's right, I'm better off alone. At least then, I'm not a 21 year old problem just leaching off at nights and being heavily misunderstood.

I've been roaming and wandering for a while now.
Gone out, have fun, felt "free", felt falsely invincible
but none of these can extinguish this anguish of reality.
My mind is in a land filled with alluring happiness that fades,
my heart has been shut away.

Been living in a land far far away, my eyes open but my soul not present.

I'm torn between "should" and "have". What am I doing? I wish an answer was ready because even I lack this vital information to maybe do something about all this. This mess I've found myself just floating in so willingly. I want to get out of this. I just don't know how. We are all going to get burned...

PRAY

Sitting here mid way of exams, I hear news about the world.
I see people change their profile pictures in hope to bring awareness.
We see this broken world come together over another unseen universe to show it's unity.
Pain.

When fire is ignited, it goes ablaze burning everything leaving a journey.
Tearing through towns, through hearts.
Hearts that cross this journey.
Revenge.

We get consumed, we react.
We get angry, we retaliate.
In bitterness we are blinded, our vision marred.
Avenge.

This planet is groaning in pain,
People turn to a God they dismiss when their hands are occupied.
Do we pray earnestly or toy with the word "prayer"?
Yearn.

A story of a girl in a broken world.

Arms of protectors 

Coming into this world, 
Pure cries and warm hearted. 
The first cry of living, 
Sliding into the arms of her protectors. 

 Innocent without blemish, 
Growing up with joy, 
People introduced, 
Sliding into the arms of her protectors. 

 People of different size and smiles. 
One smile in particular, 
She cautioned and trembled, 
Sliding into the arms of her protectors. 

 Interactions of different love and games. 
One memory in particular, 
She is wrecked and traumatised, 
Sliding out of the arms of her protectors. 

 Scarring with blemishes, 
Growing delusional they spit, 
People leave, 
Sliding out of the arms of her protectors. 

 Leaving this broken world, 
Stained cries and cold hearted. 
The last cry of justice, 
Sliding out of the arms of her protectors. 


This semester in uni we are heavily focusing on mental health because as a nurse, this is definitely something that you’d come into contact with even if you’re not in the mental health department or ward. We all know of someone that has a mental health issue and it’s all around. Personally, this has been something I had to come into contact with just a couple of years ago that has left a heavy weight in me. Emotionally and mentally.

All this talk about mental health so far has left me heavy hearted and leaving classes rather weighted only because I always think about this dear friend that I witnessed battle this issue. I’ve seen her at her worst and seen her in better days. Seen her in the ward and other people seeking help in there too. All clinging onto hope to one day get better. The chilling screams and the painful cries you hear ring through her door when I visited her in the hospital. Nightmares of the dearest just doing the unspeakable in my very room and not being able to sleep for the whole week because I had constant nightmares of her walking into my room, greeting me and proceeding to hang that tie up on my ceiling at the foot of my bed.

 However most of all, my heart goes out to victims who didn’t know any better when they were little. There was a story that my teacher told me that really unsettled me and I felt like at that point in time I could really be in her shoes and feel that fear, break down and Explosion of fear and helplessness. I felt like I really needed an outlet and wrote this poem during then. If you put a line in the middle of the poem, it’s a reflection comparison from the top to the bottom. The top is when she was slowly gaining independence and she has a sense of control whereas in the second half, there's this sense of helplessness and lost of control in her world until the very last line where she had no one now and she felt all alone and no one would take her seriously or listen... 

The aftermath

If there is one thing I would like to change about myself... That would be how insecure I am. About who I am and about my relationship. Don't get me wrong, he has never cheated on me neither has he thought about another for more than he should. It's just me. It's just me, my killer thoughts and I will be upfront and honest that almost once every two months I get into this whirlpool of self-doubt, self-hate and massive struggle to not "punish" myself. To feel pain to know I am alive and that I "have paid my dues"... I won't ever kill myself, so calm down. I am not that stupid. I have more purpose to live than to deliberately take my life.

However, I think I have kept this in long enough and I want to write it all out, say it out loud and hear how silly I am. It really challenges my relationship, no doubt and it really pushes Shane but I thank God from the bottom of my heart that He has lovingly made this boy with a heart of perseverance and the spirit to fight for what he believes in. 2 years 3 months (I'm not just counting because I'm one of those crazy people who care) Instead, I am grateful for each and every day with him and Him helping both of us.

I acknowledge it is the aftermath of the mess I have been in before back in the raging teen years where emotions and heart aches were the pinnacle of life commitments that we use to think we would all keep until we die. I've loved and lost multiple times to the same person but through this I learn that God is faithful to not just me but to cookie monster too. I'm still learning to love. Every year in this relationship there is a highlight.

1st year: Learning how to let go of fears.
2nd year: Learning how to love and be loved fully (Barriers down!).
This year, it's to trust, love unconditionally and what it means to work on each others flaws together.

Oh Lord, teach me to love like You do. Teach me to forgive myself and to protect my heart and mind from the devil and his evil schemes. May I not be my own judge and standards, instead know that it is Your standards and to be grateful and acknowledge that Jesus Christ have bridge this gap for me.

Here's to you Darling, thank you so much even though I throw tantrums and take you for granted way too many times. I thank God for you every day. I love you.

Ps. BRACES COME OFF ON THE FOLLOWING MONDAY!!! WOAHHHHHH!!!!

Nursing and what it means.

Having been on my second hospital pracs, I've never had to come to fully learn of the hearts of nurses until this ward. I am placed in a surgical ward this time round and what this means is that patients we get are pre and post operation. Many a times, we get the good stories where people come out of theatre well and recovering and they then return home and a few would come back bearing gifts of gratitude. Some, wait for news on their progress but truth to be told, even I know the heart breaking results before they do and to see how their behaviour react to such news is hard. Cancer. Terminal. Fatal. "Sorry". It's even harder to watch them in front of loved ones. Things that have suddenly turned their lives inside out. Good people, not so good people, well-to-do, homeless, lonely, anyone.

It's hard being the first few to know but everyone has to keep mum until the doctors do the painful visit through those curtains. It has really shaken me on how I nurse, how I care and how I am guilty to also take life for granted. Doesn't that hard to please patient who is in because of drugs overdose deserve the best nursing care just as much as that nice old lady who had a fall? Doesn't that demented patient deserve as much love and care as much as that child that obeys everything you tell them? I have come to realise that the people I am mostly in contact with are around my parents age and it has hit me hard that one day, when they do become frail, forgetful or even as demanding (who knows) as these "difficult" patients, they fall in the hands of nurses who judge them on how well they listen.

Don't get me wrong, not all nurses are like so but having my eyes open to this has really questioned my intentions and love. Not just to those who are easy to love but to all. My wish is that I will never lose this. I will never lose this sensitivity in me and that I will never compromise my nursing just because one patient demands my time "unnecessarily". I hope I will one day find that balance in knowing to love unconditionally yet for their good if I hold back so they can too push themselves and therefore not give up on something simple like feeding themselves. May my love not be toxic either.

Always learning.

Yes yes, I have allowed this blog go all stale and stagnant and my usual response is that I am always busy well, surprise surprise here, I have come to this cross road in my life and feel like I have not achieved much... Maybe it's because to the recurring failures as of late or I get involved in everything but fail to complete anything and now I am in this violent roller coaster ride of emotions. I honestly don't know but all I know is that I am still learning about myself and how to trust God despite of my ever-changing life.

Here is a post about my first attempt in enlisting in the Australian Defence Force (ADF)... It was definitely eye-opening where I learnt a bit more about the whole process and functioning groups within the force itself. Personally, I am striving to join the Royal Australian Army Medic Corps as a nurse in the future but I thought maybe I should start trying now. "Why?" you ask? They asked me that question too hahaha but here is my response:

"Growing up in Singapore where serving in the defence force was compulsory for all male citizens, I really saw the impact it had on friends and cousins that had to go through it. They did get unknowingly changed into someone who takes pride in their country, their people and themselves. Since I was little, I have always been inspired even just hearing stories from my very own father who went through the process without complaints. We all do take it for granted for what our country has done for us. I have always wanted to change the world which then explains why I chose to do nursing in uni. I believe that joining the force would bring me a step further into that alongside my nursing career. I want to give back not just to this country, but also to this world. I don't expect to be a hero. I don't expect to be THE ONE to change this world but I would very much like to make a difference no matter the size."

Long story short, I fell short of just one slot to the role I needed to get for the medic corps. I will try again. I will be back. As for now, I am still unsettled in a sense where I have mixed feelings about not making it now even though I understand why it actually is best that I should wait for a bit more.

"Let us pray not so much that God be on our side as we be on God's side" -King George VI

Keep trusting, keep praying Marilyn. The Lord is always faithful.

May I?

May I just put my headphones on,
lock my doors,
close my eyes,
allow time to pass me by.

May I just go back in technology,
lose my phone,
cut this much of a communication,
just enjoy silence.

May I just pick any name on Facebook,
just pop my stressed out heart,
pour out my deepest darkest secrets,
know that they will all be kept safe.

May I just cry,
stop living for just a bit,
wash all my stress away,
not meet all my appointments.

May I just stand on a stage,
explain everything that I'm doing once,
walk off,
and never be questioned ever again.

May I just curl up,
get lost in dreams,
forget reality,
stop living for a minute and sleep.

May I just drop everything,
not be questioned,
cry all my stress away,
allow my body to recuperate. 

May I... Or am I just selfish...

Revamp-Marilyn

I always come back saying the same thing, "I know I've not blogged in a while.... blah blah blah" and "I'll try to post more often... blah blah blah" Well, clearly that didn't happen but hey, today is a new day and I felt like I shall come to terms with reasons why I've stopped the past few months and almost years.

One of the few reasons why I've stopped was because I knew a few more people have found my blog and I kinda lost the sense of security to rant like your past teenage girl I use to be. Obviously lots have happened and out of these "lots" there are many things I am not proud of. That's why I've stopped, but I did genuinely hope to return one day again. Maybe today is that day.

Last night I went to bed feeling like I've come to a point in my life where I'm reflecting on who I am today and I honestly felt like I don't like who I see. I didn't wake up feeling any better but thoughts of, "All I asked for was just..." This my friends, is one of the most ungrateful sonofabish statement you can ever tell yourself. Thank God for all that has happened and most of all for Him taking you through all that mess you've deliberately picked to go through. It's not easy being you, yes. But it's even harder to be guiding someone as stubborn as us people we call the "human race" but he does it nonetheless because of love.

I've decided, I'm going to do something about this. Prayed about it and asked for help because I can't change these negativity in me, alone... I've decided to revamp my life. I call it, "Revamp-Marilyn". Going to take practical steps to improve my life, going to be that light that shines and spurs those around me to shine bright too.

Things I would like/have started doing:

• Eat healthier: 5 serves of veg and 2 serves of fruit daily.
• Sleep earlier, wake up earlier. I'm a morning studier anyways.
• LOVE my face, give it the attention it needs.
• Daily moisturise my feet and legs at least.
• Drink at least 8 glasses of water, daily and INTENTIONALLY!
• Pray more often daily and INTENTIONALLY as well.
• Daily devotion. :)

My body is the temple of God, it is for my own good and realign my life to Him. Today is a new beginning.

Here's to days that are either just bright, or brighter.

The verse that has been recurring in my life lately and it didn't hit till I saw it on my laptop before jotting down my very depressed thoughts from this ache in finding a job... Why am I to worry when I've trust in a God who is greater than all, who knows the VERY BEST for me. Who also WANTS the best for me and to PROSPER me, even however broke I am right now. In my times of distress, I forget all of who You are and I'm sorry Lord. Take all of me, break me and mould me into someone that stands rooted in You, giving my very best to everyone You lovingly place around me and may You work through me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Happy 5th month Spods.

I've already done a post dedicated to this on Instagram but... Here it is! 

"5 months soon with this boy, thank you for sticking it out with me through thick and thin. For not just loving my good but embracing my 'pain-in-the-butt' moments. I thank God for your patience, for a heart of forgiveness He has so lovingly placed in you and also your determination. You've taught me what it means to strive with a heart of passion for the things I so desire and eagerness to learn especially in regards to music. Thankyou for climbing over your own barriers and then over mine just to help me out and pull me out of my times of distress. I pray that may you continue to persevere in your studies, your music as you continue being this passionate, loving guy. Love ya, MANFRIEND :P"

Mulberries

This is a photo taken on one of the last few weeks of OCF where we had an influx of mulberries brought in.

We took this photo because of the stain these berries left as we indulged heartily. :) May I be just like a mulberry, sweet, pleasing to God and leaving a positive legacy in this world with my stains.

Looking forward to a productive summer! Working, hopefully studying for my supp paper, embark on my music life again and start practising on the uke and drums more. :) Hopefully by the end of summer I would be able to get a secondhand, upright piano too! Hope to get back into it all and start jam sessions with Nick and whoever else who would be keen on joining us.

I hope that one day, I'll be able to play for OCF as well. :)

Braces

Today is supposedly the beginning to three and a half months of holiday as I just did my last paper for my first year at Uni. Honestly, I hope to get supp papers so I can put in more effort, have more time and be given that second chance I *cough* honestly don't deserve.

On another note, braces are my little dosage of joy. They may hurt due to the tightening but the colours make me so so so happy :)

Meeting Cassidy tonight, I can't wait. :) I can't wait to open and share my life with this family who are so lovingly opening up their hearts to me too and welcoming me in.

Going to start blogging more frequently as well! :)

Thoroughly blessed through the simplicities of life.

I thank God for bringing me through this first year of uni and really holding me together as this year has been one that is filled with major ups and downs but I am more than grateful for how God has sustained me through out. Certainly would not have been able to, so many times I would have just done something stupid to jam stop it all mainly because life gets overwhelming and we start to focus on our pain instead of the One who can CARRY us through.

I'll probably do an annual reflection at the end of this year, highlighting in points of major ups and downs of 2013 like I usually do at the end of every year and set new goals for next year as well. As for now, this week alone has been and will continue to be one of the most humbling weeks of my year. I'm just so so so in awe and humbled at how I've been so thoroughly blessed and getting answered prayers, be it said or unsaid but definitely on my heart. I thank You, Lord.

1. Bringing me through study week, I would honestly say, it's better than last semester!
2. Blessing me with a friend who was willing to employ me for a day just so to kick start my bank account again! THANK YOU OLIVIA!!!
3. Having loving parents who provide and accommodate for my stressful week.
4. Having loving friends to push me on, to persevere and study on!
5. For allowing me to draw closer to some of the OCF girls that I've always wanted to.
6. Reigniting in me the passion for HIS name!
7. Blessing me through Shane to want to pick drums back up again! :)
8. For providing me with a drum set once I was determined to start again! :O
9. Blessing me with not one, but TWO babysitting jobs that would definitely mould me.
10. Girl's D materials are here and ready for collection!!! :)
11. Ortho appointment this week and I am excited to change colours and gear up for the Christmas mood! :)
12. Carrying me through my first paper today, a unit I have been very shaky with throughout this sem!
13. For very caring, loving friends, SHOUT OUT TO BOENINCK-JEMEHBECK, KALEM (Thank you for looking out for me), SHERRIE (Sorry for making you worry ): )AND GUS, thank you so much for your lovely cooking!
14. Blessing me with a loving boyf :3 Who took me through my most ugliest moments this week, I'm sorry love ): But thank you, always.
15. Grateful for Subi72, to so lovingly giving me a boost pack! (':
16. Grateful for sisters who are constantly there for me.
17. Grateful for finalising (THE BEST!) accommodation back in Singapore!
18. Fitness increase through pole dancing classes, YEAH YEAH FITNESS! Starting this Wednesday!
19. GETTING MAH SLIDE THIS THURSDAY HERE'S TO A BOOYEAH!
20. Most of all, I thank You Lord, for sustaining me through this big week. :)

In this masquerade

In this masquerade

Close your eyes and take my hand,

May we forget time and remember us.

Escape reality, embrace clarity

And may the rest of the world fade.

When you build that pedestal,

When you are known to the world,

May they love you just like how I do.

I’ll always be here to support you with all I am.

I’ll be ready to catch you when you fall,

I’ll be ready to pull you up and dust you off.

Oh may we dance in love,

Bask in it’s glory,

Reflect it’s glow as you hold me close.

May we sing in harmony,

To the beat of love’s melody.

Remember us, forget these rusts

Wipe these cascading tears of hurt

And dance with me in this masquerade.

I mean the best for you love,

Always to build and never tear.

Let you in my heart,

Oh please, may you stay.

I’ll be ready to catch you when you fall,

I’ll be ready to pull you up and dust you off.

May we dance in this love,

Bask in it’s glory,

Reflect it’s glow as you hold me close.

May we sing in harmony,

To the beat of love’s melody.

Remember us, forget these rusts

Wipe these cascading tears of hurt

And dance with me in this masquerade.

Through our brokenness,

May we fit perfectly like we’re meant to be.

Taking our masks off, as our night comes to an end.

Leaving that sting aside,

cherishing every moment of tonight.

May we dance in this love,

Bask in it’s glory,

Reflect it’s glow as you hold me close.

May we sing in harmony,

To the beat of love’s melody.

Remember us, forget these rusts

Wipe these cascading tears of hurt

And dance with me in this masquerade.

Sit in my tenderness

The Heart is Where You Belong

 You shouted out to me, but I wouldn’t listen
You pleaded, pleaded, pleaded, but I didn’t budge
You gave me so many chances when I was blind
It was only when you scared me, I knew I was wrong
The heart is where you belong

 I’m sorry I dragged us down into this mess
Kicking and screaming for the wrong team, the wrong reasons
I messed up, I faltered, I failed you
But you rescued me nonetheless, out of love

 I’m sorry I was so strong-willed and stubborn
Putting up a brick wall blocking you out
I should’ve listened, adhered and accepted
Instead I kept on driving ahead

You shouted out to me, but I wouldn’t listen
You pleaded, pleaded, pleaded, but I didn’t budge
You gave me so many chances when I was blind
It was only when you scared me, I knew I was wrong
The heart is where you belong

 I’m sorry I made you feel so uneasy
You’re my number one, but I wasn’t making that clear
I love you, adore you, cherish you too
Don’t let go and I won’t let you fall

 I’m sorry you had to question your choices
The sanctity of our unison was being soiled
I’ll do anything you wish, so I can deserve you
 I’ve messed up and I want to make things right

 You shouted out to me, but I wouldn’t listen
You pleaded, pleaded, pleaded, but I didn’t budge
You gave me so many chances when I was blind
It was only when you scared me, I knew I was wrong
The heart is where you belong

 Look at us now
Moving towards better days
It seems like some distant past
Now and forever, forever and always

 You shouted out to me, but I wouldn’t listen
You pleaded, pleaded, pleaded, but I didn’t budge
You gave me so many chances when I was blind
It was only when you scared me, I knew I was wrong
The heart is where you belong

You shouted out to me, but I wouldn’t listen
You pleaded, pleaded, pleaded, but I didn’t budge
You gave me so many chances when I was blind
It was only when you scared me, I knew I was wrong

The heart is where you belong

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reading this, made me weak.I teared because I know how hard it is for you to string words together let alone write a song that carries such weight in meaning. Thank you... You went that extra ten thousand miles just to show me how much you love, care and cherish this. me. us... I wasn't angry because I honestly have already forgiven you from the beginning knowing you were just being you... I guess sometimes change, is the only way we allow loved ones to stay and change may not entirely be bad, but sometimes it changes not just your own life, but others too in an amazing impactful way. :) I love you. (':

Shaken.

I have once struggled with the addiction to slashing my arms and I have not made a single slit since 2009, praise God! But even though I have proclaimed that as my past, I won't lie that it is a constant struggle to not get back into it. It has been alright in shutting these thoughts away until recently this year... This year has been a very trying year... Lost friends, felt alone, made decisions I struggled through and encountering my past right in front of me... The feeling of it goes something like if you have once smoked before, at one scent of a cigarette, a toxic yet strange craving in you is suddenly awaken. Like you just entered the cave of a wild beast living in you.

Life as you can tell is slowly getting stressful especially at school and wanting to keep up with people but I simply lack the time. It's definitely my responsibility to make it work but for now, I know I definitely need to catch up on school.

Negativity has started flooding me and honestly, I'm not surprised if this is another trial but to add on top of these thoughts, loose comments from very dear ones is adding to this toxic these thoughts are boiling...

"I can't do it." "This is it." "Just one?" "Just one and it will send this monster away." "Life is not worth it." "You're going to fail." "You're getting fat." "You're ugly." "You suck." "Eww, Marilyn." "You don't have as many commitments, yet you can't do it!?" "You're boasting." "Why are you so proud?" "You're not that great." "Just leave." "You're not worthy." "Escape it all." "Run away." "Just do it." "It's your fault." "Everyone leaves anyways." 

Tonight was the pinnacle of this... Thoughts of leaving in the car, being selfish and just jam stop it all... So broken... So I started texting Puan because I am thankful for that little bubble of wisdom that God managed to squeeze in... She reminded me, Philippians 4:8

"...You'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not to curse..."

"Ah..."

How true those words are, how when we enter a time of authentic worship, its just God in our mind and hearts... So I did as the verse says, listened to the newest Hillsong album, Glorious Ruins. & I'm reminded that "He's the God who saves, He's the hope I hope, reaching out Your hand as Your people call."

Because I'm limited.

I honestly think I've hit an emotional low... I'm stressed with school work, negativity has over written thoughts of optimism, self-confidence has seem to plummet, giving into being in this corner, yes, it's my fault. It is...

Oh Daddy, may I find rest, comfort, content and joy in You... Because I don't think I can do this alone..

"The Lord will never leave you nor forsake you; Don't ever forget that!"

Hebrews 13:5

We know the end, we just pretend.

"I'll miss you. Everything is just so wrong and I don't belong and I'm just living in your precious memories."

Podpod adventures! :D

Exploring train tracks at Kent St Weir with Spods! 

Knowing Shane is still in his little bubble of tastes and food of this world, I've decided to try something out with him... Introduce him to my childhood snacks that carries not just familiar tastes (to me) but also share their significance of them in my growing up years in Singapore! In regards to that, we went Asian snack grocery shopping today!

Questions I asked:
1. First impression
2. Outside appearance, what did you expect
3. Taste
4. Anything interesting?

What we tried today and Shane's responses:
White Rabbit milk candy

- Since it stated milk candy, he was expecting the taste.

- Expected it to be chewy :)

- Tasted like milk chocolate to him! :o

- All checked out.

What it means to me:

While growing up, this has been the candy that would be shared out at school and be usually found around Chinese new year in my family because my cousins absolutely love them. Since then, there has been cases of poisoning in this lollies that made their popularity die a little but since then have been under strict supervision so... All good! It's not exactly my favourite candy out there but I know I love that transparent plastic-like wrapping each lolly that I had doubts about eating when I was just a little kid. Until I tasted the edge and felt it melt away in my mouth. :)

Onion Rings chips

"1. Like plain Cheezles. 2. Looks like Cheezles. 3. Bland. Where's the onion? 4. All checks out."

I've never really taken fancy in this to be honest... But Melanie and Melissa did like this though. Thought maybe we should give it a try especially since I've not had them in a while. :)

Sparkling apple drink

"1. Bottle with can lid 2. Fizzy apple drink. 3. Sparkling apple juice. Would drink again. 4. Pretty normal. Packaging is cool."

I remember seeing these cool looking cans in vending machines and I would beg mum to buy me one while growing up simply because I love them cans!

Pocky

"1. Chocolate on a stick. Can't go wrong. 2. See #1. 3. Chocolate was a bit rich. 4. Pretty normal."

Went through a Pocky phase before in my life while I was living in Shanghai. In shanghai there are heaps of flavours and different types such as mousse and additional toppings on them. I was very addicted to these while I was in Shanghai to a point that I would have one almost once every two days at least! Friends identified it to me as well and would usually buy me a box of these lovely things just to cheer me up then. :)

Kickapoo

"1. Fizzy drink. Should be fine. 

2. Apparently it's like Mountain Dew? 

3. I've had this before. Lemon lime mineral water. 

4. Can buy cheaper in Coles :P " 

Taste seems different as to how I remembered it but it sure does bring back memories of Singapore because other than Singapore and Malaysia, I've never seen this. I would usually get a can of this when I visited my grandparents back when I was little at Jurong and sure reminds me of the times I've spent at their place drinking this drink.

Hello Panda

"1. Some chocolate and biscuit combo? 

 2. Chocolate. I'm keen. 

 3. Heavenly. Divine. Would definitely buy again. 

4. Seemed normal." 

 Hello Panda has always been a delight to have though I am fully aware I did go through an obsession phase with these as well to a point I did feel sick after having wayyyyyy too much and I remember moving onto the vanilla flavoured ones just to get away from the chocolate ones for a bit. This was the snack that I would buy at the school canteen in 2007, Secondary 1 (Year 7) and sneak it into our English class. A group of us rebel girls would sit at the back, right next to the back door, 4 of us sharing packs and packs of hello pandas. Once we ran out and if we still had half an hour of our class, we'd send one person to the canteen to buy a few more and stuff them under our shirts so we wouldn't get caught eating in class! 

 Fruit pudding 

 "1. Jelly maybe.

2. Custardy jelly?

3. Tastes like frozen yoghurt, but thicker like custard.

4. Haven't had stuff like it. Tastes normal though." 

We use to have heaps of these while growing up though my memory of these was when we got them from the supermarkets in Johor Bahru (Malaysia) when we went on trips as a family. I love the little coconut bits in there to a point I would eat the rest of the pudding and leave my little collection of coconut bits in there and have them last. :3 

 We have more fruit pudding in the fridge, so till next time... We'll figure this fruit pudding out. :P

Egg Tarts!

Well, we didn't buy these. The 'rents got them from the bakery at Spencer Village but hey! Asian food that Shane has never had! So here we go:


"1. Looks like a custard tart. 
2. Not sure if sweet or savory. 
3. Weird combination of egg a short crust. Good though. 
4. Haha egg tart. Sounds silly, but it's nice."

Egg tarts are definitely a big thing in a Chinese family. I cannot remember my first neither can I remember my last but as far as I'm concerned, I did have a phase of these too... I know, I know... But I can't help it. I'm that happy fat kid that would eat till my brain shuts down and my tummy remembers the taste and adds it to the list of "horror"... When Melanie was still living in Perth, she would bake these fairly often to give to people simply because it's not common here in Perth and its pretty simple to make. I would still have them in moderation now... Lesson learnt!