what a day..

I don't like to talk about sad stuff, && today happens to be rather upsetting but it had an happily ever after as its ending. {:

Was rather mean to you today, but you did not give up on me.{: Thankyou bi. It's just that, many things has been going on in my head && I knew something bad was gonna |happen but I just can't say it out.. Cause clues were given to me what they were.. Just that it was not something I really expected. I was really quiet in class today. Till the point that Mr Ng came and ask me whether I am alright! Changing seats is something I need to get use to. Not hearing your voice whisper in my ear anymore is something which made me miss you terribly though I still can hear your laughter a few seats away.. I shall just cry every misses out:

1. Your voice whispering in my ear "I love you"
2. The shoe wrestle under the table.
3. Your cold hands, warming up in mine.
4. Your arms around my waist.
5. You hugging me from the back whenever I turn towards the door.
6. You sneaking to plant a kiss on my cheek in between lessons.
7. You helping me push back the lose strain of hair behind my ear.
8. You looking into my eyes asking whether everything is alright.
9. You laughing at me say "fuck you!"
10. Me lying on your leg.
11. Me trying to make you have goose bumps :P
12. YOU TRYING THE SAME xD
13. You letting me take your hand and put it against me face like my pillow.
14. You taking most opportunity to hold my hand during lessons. {:
15. You making me laugh over the silliest things.
16. You acting jealous and moving to the furthest end && I use all my might to pull you back and say "I love you".
17. You lending me your jacket to SNIFF!
18. You allowing me to rest my leg on yours..

I nearly cried cause I missed all those.. How dumb can I get.. But that was not the main point why.. It was because I realized I only have 11 days left with you && today was the last day I allowed my leg to rest on yours, surrender to you winning the shoe wrestle && you holding my hand in class.. Honestly I feel that there is a difference since the start to now. Last time we spend time during lunch together like there's no limit but now, its just simply different.. Cause you are too shy to ask. d: Its been 2 weeks since the last time __ ____-___.. But it's okay.. I have limited time with you, but I want and will treasure every sec I have with you cause I don't want to push you away no more. I love you Ashim Raj Joshi, my Bi. {: