Bestfriend.

You've been glued in my heart, maple syruped to my mind and lollipoped to my soul.
I so regret not messaging you. Cause you're dancing in my head all day.
I'm still waiting for you impatiently with memories like thousand swords piercing through my head. I know you visit my blog, but you always leave without a mark because I've hurt you in that heart. You read the poem, you cried I know. I read it again, I myself cried. That shows how much I've been so blinded by my own selfish life that I've left you behind and never ran back for you. But now, I'm running this long journey back to you. Back to your heart. To pick you up again cause this time, you fell because of me. I hurt you. I know I did which made a deep cut in you. Talking to you again made me realise its not just a cut, but a whole wreckage there deep down in you. But when I speak, I'm trying to mend each broken piece that I caused. I know it feels weird like nails pierced into you when I speak because me nailing a new wooden board to fix your heart, you feel the nails so you hold back. Time heals all wounds is a saying I believe in sometimes. But now, I strongly believe in this case.

Sometimes I do wonder if this is my life. Is this the road I chose. Is this Me? Everything comes crashing against me like waves against the rocks below the lighthouse. I didn't use to run away from my fears. Now I am. Trying to stop running with the wind and turn back to face it but the wind blows so hard against my face I close my eyes and I feel fearful of my fear. But running was never the solution. BESIDES LOSING WEIGHT. I know what I must do. Fix back this distort road I picked because we learn best through experience and hurts. We grow from them. Will you give me a chance to make it up to you and bring us back together again? I'll try though I've failed before. You use to say you were amazed at how we never did quarrel and get angry at each other. I broke that.. Though we did not quarrel, I hurt you which creates anger in me for I have been such a blind fool.