Appendix adventures!

Got admitted to the hospital on 25th August 2012, Saturday afternoon for my appendix inflammation.

Lets take a rewind to try to figure out what I did that could possibly be the cause...

Wednesday: School, Carousel with Kalem, Shane and Sherrie. We were all craving brownies so we were going to make some awesome brownies and be happy fat babies. Sherrie and I went to KMart to get our photo booth photos printed while Shane and K went to Coles to buy them ingredients. Headed to mine, baked brownies, Shane ate 5 (That was 3/4 his dinner...), Sherrie went home for dinner but the guys stayed at mine for dinner.

Shane left after dinner, K and I played Mario for the rest of the night till 11ish. We were... VERY high...

-Marilyn was still fine then. Okay, moving on.-

Thursday: School, there wasn't flexi for me as we had our umat lady coming in to talk to us about our Tisc applications. Went home after, baked red velvet cupcakes in jars for Jackie's birthday :) Took 4 hours and Puan came home. Had our pan dinner or fried noodles and I had my pumpkin too! :) Didn't sit for dinner. Wasn't having a slight tummy ache OH maybe its gastric.

-Should be fine. Moving on.-

Friday: School, home and tummy was still in a little pain and discomfort. Maybe I'm malnourished... Shall eat more veg! Had no appetite but still ate veg. Parents are back :D Mummy guessed gastric. She hates my eating patterns that she assumes when I am home alone... Mummy applied medicated oil on my tummy and gave me a nice tummy rub. 

-Hopefully the medicated oil works! :D-

4am Saturday morning...: *WAKES UP IN ACUTE PAIN* Realises I fell asleep while talking to someone on the phone, wakes person up and start groaning in pain. Person suggests to call mum. TOOK ME AN HOUR TO AGREE. 5am, calls mum's mobile phone... She finally picks up and asks what's wrong and I start groaning and crying in pain. She comes in, pop me some abdominal pills went to sleep for another 3 hours.

3 hours later: INTENSE PAIN. Hobbles out of bed, collapse on couch in front of dad. Cries for GP, dad wanted to wait hoping medication would kick in. Then I begged for the GP. 3 of us, in half pjs (trackies. I was in my pjs), piled in the car and off to find a GP that actually is open on Saturday. YES. It's PERTH, GPs that open on Saturdays are RARE.

Went to the nearest hospital, PACKED with sick people as they all watch me hobble and struggle my way through the door. Dad suggests to call our family GP (He doesn't usually work on Saturdays) BAM HE WAS IN! OMG HE WAS IN!!! THANK YOU GOD THANK YOU GOD. Wait. He's pack! OH NO! But can't be as pack as this hospital! OKAY OFF WE GO. 

People watched me hobble out. Must have been the most entertaining sight they had all morning because everyone was actually watching...

DIED IN CAR. BAM! GP! Felt nostalgic, went to the toilet with mum. Sat on floor, pain was intense. Mum pulled me up from the awful toilet floor. Was about to faint. Collapsed on mum. They dragged me to the other GP's (that's not in) room and I fell onto the bed. Felt so exhausted. Knocked out. But could still hear people but can't open eyes. Nurse commented on how tired I seem to be :|

GP is finally done! Ready for me. They got me up and into his office. He checked everything and said its a suspected appendicitis. He suggests 2 hospitals that are close by that could check and operate on me. Parents picked the private hospital as it was nearest. OFF TO MURDOCH! He gave me pain killers first. MAN THEY INDEED ARE PAIN KILLERS.

Reached the hospital at 1. Waited till 3pm because I told them my pain level was 3/10, 10 being the most intense pain ever in the universe. (Every single medical associated person I came into contact with that day asked me to rate my pain..) I started freaking at 2.30 because I started to feel the pain coming back to me. Pain killers were wearing off. FINALLY into the emergency department! Got changed into my hospital gown! Laid in my first ever hospital bed! Waited for nurse Sarah to return. Blood pressure. Oxygen levels. Blood test (to see if its appendix). Drips. No eating, no drinking. I lost 6 kg that very day... Urine test.

ED doctor came in to check on my suspected appendix. Press press press tummy. Presses near appendix I nearly punched him in reflex. He looked up with glee, "YEP! Highly likely appendix!" Everyone left. Parents went to grab lunch. Nurses attended to the next 5 people that came in after me. They were all sports related. I was still on my drip, they wanted my pee so bad they increased my drip speed to get more water in me. Finally after 2 hours I gave them my pee. OFF I WENT! I was on pain killers, lying on the bed, nurse pushed me to my ward. What you see in movies, the lights pattern. I felt like a movie star in a hospital scene. Clearly I was excited.

Nurse pushed me to the adult ward... "Room 7?" "Nope, there is someone in there. Is this Marilyn?" "Yep" "St Gabriel's!" And off to St Gabriel's ward which was just a short walk. My surroundings of abstract art turned to cute teddies, rainbows and flowers. Where was I? "Marilyn?" "Yep." "Room 12!" and into Room 12 I went. WAIT... Why do I have teletubbies on my wall..? :| My door had a pelican :) Like my address! I get my own tele! My own room! My own huge ass bathroom and toilet! Swap beds. The bed was JUST NICE for my height. "Hahahaha Marilyn... You are in the kiddy ward." Dad said with such joy.

Nurses hooked me up to more drips. More blood tests. More oxygen level tests.

5.40pm. Soon Dr Cooke came in. He is one humorous guy. So bubbly and light-hearted. Explains the whole procedure of my operation and everything I needed to know. Kind of like a briefing.

"We will put a little camera in you and have a look at your liver, colon, appendix, ovaries and many more!" "DO I GET TO WATCH TOO? :D" "Uh... no. But I could pop it on a dvd for you!" "DEAL!" "But you might get motion sick. I will try not to move too much" (I got my awesome dvd of my whole procedure!)

"Every operation has its risk. But to not operate in this case is a even greater risk. Let's hope your appendix have not exploded." Mum, "Well, looks like you have to do a good job then haha" "Of course, I will operate on Marilyn like she's my very own daughter."

These words have left such great impact on me. That's the kind of doctor I aspire to be. One that loves every single patient I get to come in contact with. "I have done over 2 hundred appendix operations. One was an Olympic athlete, since has been winning many medals. Another was also in the Olympics but since... Has not won anything..." I laughed. One day, I am going to be one of the people he mentions to his patients awaiting appendix removal!

6.15 more Hollywood hospital scene in my head as I was being pushed down to the holding room where I am being prepared for my operation. My hair in one of those caps. Have my cool white operating stockings on (prevents clots in legs), meeting of Mr Lim, an aesthetician that was going to knock me out and into the operating theatre at 6.30pm. I challenged myself to keep awake. Opened my eyes to the biggest possible. He inserts liquid. I feel it coming on!  Open eyes even bigger!!! BAM. I knocked out. "Damn it" I thought before I dozed off. Had one weird dream alright. Woke up in recovery room 1.5 hours later... Looking drowsier than this:

with oxygen mask on because oxygen count was low and need to rid the anaesthetic still in my blood. I fell asleep again. But was definitely excited to be having my first ever experience with an oxygen mask. Sleep sleep sleep. I really wanted mummy and papa. They pushed me back to my room. Was still sleeping. Woke up. Went back still drowsy. Off to lala land once more. Woke up and mummy and papa were here now. Still drowsy. More sleep for Marilyn. 

Woke up at 12am. Whatsapp many many people that were concerned. That was when I took that picture up there to show everyone that I was alright. Yes, I can still look fabulous after an operation hahahahahaha. Nurse came in to change my drip. That was when I met the most amazing lady. Robbie. She taught me how to get out and into bed. (I was in a lot of pain :|) She helped me change out of my robe and into some comfy home pjs. She changed my drips. She taught me the tele channels and its movies. She accompanied me that night. I didn't want to sleep. I feel in deep adoration for her. I started talking to her and befriending her. She didn't force me to drink that yucky gunk that would help me poop. (Because after operations, your body would have problems peeing and pooping.)

& they found out what caused my appendicitis... MY OWN POOP. :|

She got me a lozenge for my throat that was sore from the abrasion of the tube they had to put down me to bloat my tummy up. She left 5/6am in the morning. I really wanted her to be my nurse again for my second night. I wanted to thank her personally.

The rest of my second day was check ups, blood tests, operation 'make-Marilyn-poop', no appetite, slow eating, movies, sleeping, a lot of sleeping. Melissa called me in the morning to check on me :3 really appreciated her call.

Sunday: Parents came after church. Parents helped me eat my main meal of my dinner. Really didn't want anything. Mummy brought me books :)

Puan, Aron and Kok surprised visit me. They came as I came out of my shower. MY FIRST SHOWER IN 2 DAYS. Felt so good. But hurt a lot. Dreaded showering the next 4 days... 

& laxatives and that thing they put up my bum started to work after friends left... YEAH... The world started to fall under me that whole night.

Soon, once I had a good poop, parents left. I was dead tired. But I wanted to wait till about 10/11pm to see if Robbie was coming in. :)

& She did. The registered nurse (I am guessing. She had a different shirt on. Higher rank) introduced her and said, "Marilyn, Robbie is your nurse tonight." I was so happy. She changed my drips, more pain killers. (Had pain killers every 4 hours.) I asked if I could have another lozenge she said there wasn't anymore... But she came in with this:

*O* AWESOMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! "We give this to kids when they get their tonsils out. I hope this helps because there isn't anymore lozenge." ARE YOU COMPLAINING? NO. AM I COMPLAINING!? GIVE ME THAT ALREADY. Omn nomnom.

My room: See the teletubbies on the wall? Yeah I grew up with those funny peeps.

That night I was dog tired. I was completely drained. I knocked out. I woke up again to the Registered nurse changing my drips. My first drip was slightly jammed. She used a scissors or something to push the liquid through the drip tube and BAM into my arm. DUDE. That hurt like a bitch... PROOF (Because I don't like you. ): WHERE IS ROBBIE!? T^T Give her back!)

(And this was 2 days after!!! >:( the bruise that horrid thing caused...)

I didn't see Robbie anymore that night. I was annoyed and upset at that higher rank nurse. I was very very upset. I wanted to say bye to Robbie... So I woke up at 4.30am on Monday in hopes Robbie would come in before she leaves so I could bid farewell. I waited till 6.15am... She didn't come in... VERY UPSET... I went back to sleep. *knock knock* "Morning Marilyn! Brekkie!!!" omnnomnomnom:

One of Dr Cooke's team members came in to have a last check up on me. Gave me an MC for a week. (Half concerned and half happy. Concerned because I am a year 12. Skipping a day of school is like skipping a term in year 10! Happy because.. NO EXPLANATION NEEDED.)

The new morning shift nurse (The same one that put something up my bum the day before) came to take my big drip on my left arm out. (Had 2 drip holes. As they started with the one on my left before op and right before I enter op, they realised I needed one on my right arm because my appendix is on my right.......) "Apply pressure on the hole" *PULLS OUT 15 cm plastic out of my arm (drip)* I needed to text mum. Held the hole for 5 seconds thought it was good enough.. Started texting then suddenly I felt water being literally sprayed on my arm... Looks down... BLOOD WAS OOZING OUT OF MY BAND AID LIKE A FOUNTAIN LITERALLY (no exaggeration here.) and bam:

I was like OMG I hope the nurse returns soon and then... *knock knock* "Marilyn! :D LUNCH!!! Here yo-" "Could you help me please?" "OMG!!! I WILL CALL THE NURSE!" & Here is my lunch for that day :) :

I got discharged at 2pm that day. :) It was a Monday. Home and sleep sleep sleep. That was my whole weekend.

Wednesday when Shane and Gus visited:

They brought me one sushi heehee

WAS SO GOOD.

I was getting pretty lonely by Wednesday... Marilyn always has a social life... But since Monday, all Marilyn interacted with was the toilet... THEN... BAM! People started surprising me! :D PRAISE GOD FOR ANSWERING UNPRAYED PRAYERS! *He knows my every wants and needs* {3 

Flowers that came from Puan, Kok, Aron and the Orchid from N.

Thursday: Friends decides to surprise me. Kalem, Shane, Sherrie, Shreya surprised me first. They brought my fave pizza, Margarita! And Macaroons! :D:D:D We played Mario! They brought my work! We played even more! :D

Then... *DING DONG* Tim showed up! He brought those flowers up there. More Mario! More pizza-eating! 

One more... *DING DONG* IT WAS JESS! :D Bruuuuuuuu {3

She brought these flowers:

Surprises 3 days in a row. {3

That's my week.

On a lighter note... I finally did up my long awaited wall about two months ago. :)

Thank God for sustaining me through such a intense time. Thank God for such amazing people in Murdoch-St John of God hospital. {3 

what the world thinks.

I wrote this ages and ages ago. & its time to publish it:

"FAT" a common word heard among people of all generations. Some may not just let it be a word they use but also a point they add in their new year's resolution. Just watched a video about this girl "rant about fat bitches" as so she says. She labels herself "thick" and "boys like thick girls. They go for thick girls" and "Just accept you're fat. Not thick." Sad but isn't that how this warp world revolve? Many people struggle with this "harsh reality". Guys and girls, we all do. Guys want to be bulk and tank while girls, skinny and model like. Why so? So we could get judged by the opposite sex and feel approved? Or like some, just feel better about ourselves?

I admit, I have been there, I have mentioned the word many times, I have done ridiculous things in hopes to lose this "fat". Its alright to be cautious for health reasons but how skinny is skinny enough? I've just come to realise, that even if I am as skinny as that model out there, I know I still wouldn't feel satisfied. Some of you that have been following my blog might have already come to the knowledge that I use to anorexic. I started off that way because of depression of moving but I'm the sort that when I get into a habit, a mindset, I am fixed and its hard to get me out of. When I eventually got out of that "dark time", out of the depression, I struggled to get out of my starving ways. When I forced myself to eat all 3 meals a day, by night fall I will hit myself with huge disappointments and self reprimanding to a point I would not eat for the next 1-3 days. When the dark period left, I was a wrecked child. Pretty much weak and sick looking. But then, the old ways stuck. It became the result of "looking fat" or having that normal roll around my tumtum when I sat. Silly, ridonkulous and stupid. Its been 3 years since I was coming out of that old way. I've been saying, "recovery" and honestly, I am improving yet on occasions, I still honestly do it. Through out these 5 years, hearing people say, "Marilyn! Eat more!" or "Marilyn, EAT!!" it made me hit that point where I remembered I was 9 years old, in my Auntie's house, visiting my grandparents who came over from Sydney and walking down her stairs our conversation went like this... I was telling them about all the junk I ate and my Auntie asked, " Are you scared to grow fat?", I looked up at her and laughed, "NO! I don't care if I do. As long as I get to eat, I can lose them all later! I don't care if I'm fat!" "What if no one like you, how?" "Someone who will marry me if I am fat must really like me then." "Then he deserves you!" "YES!".

Looking back, that conversation, so innocent and honest. What happened since? Well we all grow up having our mind 70% of the time focused on losing weight.. Why?

Watching that video, it made me feel sad while conversations with friends about them wanting to lose more weight sunk so deep. I then reflected, know I am still struggling having been ashamed but it hit me so hard when I dropped a size at the start of the year.. That was then a wake up call to get out... But I'm still RECOVERING...

My very first hospital admission.

As some of you guys know, I was admitted to hospital on the 25th August 2012 for my inflamed appendix. Yep, I had appendicitis. Don't ask me how it happened.. It just did. I have no clue what got in that blistering sucker but hey, I thank God it did because I met the most amazing people ever...

Here's my letter to them. I was very upset to a point of crying that I didn't get to thank these amazing people... This is the least I could do for now but in time to come, I wish to actually do something for them. Probably after WACE... Here we go:

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Though my stay in the hospital was short and sweet and though I possibly was the second youngest to be admitted into hospital that day, I sure am glad and definitely blessed to be served by a bunch of passionate, amazing, friendly, heart-warming and personally inspiring people.

To the people that prepared my meals: WOW. Amazing food though I didn't have my full appetite but I sure wish I did so that I could enjoy every single molecule that was lovingly prepared by you guys. For personalising it in a way that I wanted out of that ever so diverse and yummy menu. Wanted everything, no doubt but had to pick what would best benefit me. Thank you so much for serving me with joy like the brightest sunshine. What can I say? It literally was breakfast in bed! Thank you so much for putting my meals together and for ensuring I had the best of nutrients too. Wish I knew all of your names so I could thank each and every one of you personally.

To the nurses: The group of people that touched me most during those short 3 days. Even though about half the time I was either still knocked out from the anaesthetic or just simply exhausted and sleepy, you guys really inspired me. Nursing is one heck of a tough job but you guys didn't allow that to be shown through your actions. Every smile and every warm touch really reminded me as to how blessed I was to be under your care. There were about 8 of you that have come into contact with me during my stay there and helped me in various ways from changing my drips, helping me off my bed, turning my lights off while i dozed off, gave me my pain killers, adjusted my bed, helped me turn on the amazing tele with such vast choices of movies that I could enjoy and to just simply coming in to check on me. Truly a humbling job that you guys left me in awe. I left the hospital upset that I couldn't thank each and every one of you personally but here are the few three that out of my drowsiness I can probably remember your formal introductions: Robbie, Nibby and Sarah (The one that pushed me from the ED to my ward) I would especially like to thank Robbie. Your actions have really left something in me. Am deeply moved by your enthusiasm to work at such weird hours, 11pm till 5am and how you were so patient with me and helped me while I struggled with my fresh wounds that very night after I aroused from my anaesthetic. Doesn't sound like much but you have really impacted me. I thoroughly enjoyed your presence that very first night where I wanted to just talk to you and how loving you were towards me. There are few more nurses that have always done a lot for me but I would have really liked to thank each and every one of you personally as well. Truly am grateful. The one that placed that cold liquid up my bum, yes, isn't a pleasant job but really thankful.

Mr D Cooke and his team that operated on me:
Thankyou for watching over me as you operated on my appendix and took out that inflamed mess in me. Though I didn't get as much contact with you guys as compared to the nurses, I really am grateful that you guys operated on me with such joy and passion that seemed to be renewed everyday. You assured me and gave me so much faith to know that you guys would definitely do a wonderful job. To Mr Cooke, though I could barely talk while I was there, your jokes definitely did hurt. Physically! Just like how you took me like your very own "daughter" as you operated on me, I am glad and definitely blessed to have that "father" ensuring that the procedure will go well. I'll make sure that one day, I will be in that list of people you mentioned to me before my operation! Probably not as an athlete though. But in all compliments, thank you. Oh and greatly appreciate the dvd of my operation! Its just like the magic school bus in me. THANK YOU :)

Thank you all for making my stay at Murdoch Hospital - St John of God one that is unforgettable, not just because I would have a scar to remind me, but also one that deeply impacted me in my heart. & I am sure I have missed out many but really, am sincerely thankful that God allowed me to have my appendix taken out at such a blessed place with amazing people.

God Bless,
Marilyn Ho.

28th August 2012.



I will post my adventure in due time. For now, I really want to let the world know, people with such hearts are truly, awe-inspiring.

Tell me oh my soul, why are you down cast?

I'm very excited for the future. For the things I can do, the time I will have as compared to this year and desires to reach goals. But really, among these excitement, fear and unsettledness is erupting...

Dino ear rings from Yi Lin! :)

Oh Lord, discipline my soul. I want to look up. I want to stay focused on you. My heart is deeply troubled as to how far I feel from you. I know it shouldn't be based on feelings but really, these feelings are indications that are acting as warning sirens as to the distance I have come. This year has been busy. Time that I have tried to set aside for you become time that I have idled away and I am sorry. Serving You is easy but fighting in this faith is hard. Who am I to demand for more time? Oh Lord, to You is where I want to run. To You is where I want to take shelter. I cry out for direction you provide but Lord, You spoil me with never ending love and I know the further I've gotten. To You I want to return, to You I want to take refuge. Why are my eyes gazing upon things that will fade? Clear them oh Lord, wipe these salt away and carry it's weight. Lord, I'm not happy with where I am. I'm not happy with who I've become. I've forgotten who I am. I've lost sight of my vision. To You I want to commit again, oh Lord, take these negativity and intensify them. Push me to my limits, amplify the pain if its a stepping stone for my growth in You because really Lord, I want to grow deeper in You. Take this hardened heart of mine and remould it. Burn everything that's not of You that's in me and multiply my passion for Your name. I want to extinguish every sinful nature I hold dear. I'm sorry Lord for the things that I've made. I'm sorry Lord for having half hearts and blinded eyes. Penetrate in me revealing every dark corner. Make me whole oh Lord, please. Lord, I will never be satisfied with anything of this temperer place because You Lord, are what I need. You Lord is who I want to seek. You are who I want to find. You Lord is the only One that would open the doors in this cold dark night. Be thou my vision, be thou the centre of my life. I'm coming back. I'm here.

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On a lighter note... LEAVERS!!! :D

The time machine.

Birthdays are days that remind you that you indeed are a miracle, being alive.

Looking through photos, I found this. This was taken on my 15th birthday. My very first birthday I celebrated in Perth. A very very very quiet birthday that only 3 of us celebrated together since I barely knew anyone here in Perth. I was pretty bitter then as to having moved yet again. I didn't want anyone at school know simply because I'm the new kid. Have been at school for only barely 3 months and was still struggling with things physically left behind when really, mentally they were present. Looking back at how far I've come, how well I've settled in, I thank God for being with me through it all. For seeing me through the tough times. Its only after I came to Perth did I really start discovering and finding myself. 

As compared to this year, so many more I've met. So far I've come. It's the first time I planned something for my very own birthday. :) 3 Parties, Penrhos, OCF and Lynwood. 2 special cakes, many wonderful people I've met in this blessed place.

Lynwood:

I've grown, I've learnt many things and many people have come and gone but I'm not done yet.

"ONE WISH! WHAT WOULD IT BE!?" 
To live a life filled with humility, passion and love for Daddy God. The One who has seen me through and loved me even though I've hurt him so deeply before and in the future but my desire is to live a life that shines for Him.

10 more weeks till the final battle. The battle that will determine if I've meant what I've said, one shot to take that I should do my best, leave that desk and say, "I did my best." Not, "I could have done better." 10 weeks till a whole period of transition occurs. 10 weeks till graduation. Am I ready? Am I even putting in any effort now? I know best. Everything else can be put away. Got my reports today. Most teachers are pleased but frankly, I'm otherwise. Mummy called me "Clever girl" but really, its terrible as compared to last year, semester 1. I am very far from my 96. Very far. I need to buckle up. ONE SHOT MARILYN. ONE SHOT. ITS NOW OR NEVER. ITS NOW. I have great plans amongst all these. Plans for my part time job in the future, plans for uni, plans for majors, plans for specialising, plans for adulthood. But really, they all mean nothing if it's not aligned to God's plans. Its Him that I want to serve. Its Him I have decided to go down this path. It's Him that granted me these opportunities, why have I lost sight? Why am I worrying? Why am I freaking out? Isn't it He who grants? Isn't it He that directs my steps? Time to focus. Lord, be thou my vision.