It just ain't suppose to be this way. Everything seems to just go oh so wrong. Once you are gone i realize i miss so many things in you that i should treasure more. I am just missing you my friend. You are like the trigger in to craziness and laughter in me. You make my world go round. Without you my joy and crazy tank of laughters is just so low. Forced smiles and forced laughters are what seems to come out of me. Not much joy anymore. Seating beside or opposite words dont seem to flow much too? I just dont know. I am just lost without you. There seems to be no end in this hatred nightmare that seems to play. No more open arms, no more late night calls, no more total fun. I guess the wrong decisions just lead to wrong paths.

Me, In This Solitude World Without you.
my bestie, my meimei, my comforter; Joey.

haish..

Crap.. overslept.. haish. Man thats the bad part especially when you are home alone.. hahax. Trying to kill time.. omg, Miss Cai just called. Scared me. Thought it was that nutcase who lectures me every single phone call. Like HELLO! Let me live my life without any fast speaking chim chim chinese please! Like every phone call i dont understand about half the conversation so all I say uh uh uh.

Oh and..
CONGRATS TO MELISSA JIE FOR GRADUATING FROM UNIVERSITY!:D

Kinda miss school already.. Can't wait for Amanda to come.. And my poor doggy and I are ROTTING!! arghx.


You said you want to give. But can you bear to is another thing. I guess you don't really understand what I wrote and said. Do you think i want it this way? I don't think you want it this way either. Both of us are at fault. Yes i can admit it. Whether you are willing to admit is another. All the millions of sorry i said seems to fade. Sorry is one word that means lots. It means you realize your mistake and willing to admit it and having the courage to apologize. All I want to say now after all that we have been through thick and thin, I did not know it will just end like this. Friends to the end. I really do miss you, the fun we had and memories. I guess you have the same feelings too. Something is holding you back. Yes I know. But Since the beginning of this tight bond I have promised you that I will help you no matter what. Now is not only helping you but also helping myself. I shall let silence take over and just sit and wait till that day comes when You and I might regret. I don't want you to live a regretful life is something you might have heard since. But yeah I really meant it.
My world; My fantasized world now becomes solitude.

My DAY!

Today ponned school.. Did not feel like going to school cause' I felt like breaking away from school for a day. Today really feels good hahax. The night before I stayed up with Amanda Ho, the craziest and funnest person to just spend your night awake packing with! Man it was fun! We packed until 5.30am in the morning till i had to get ready and go out to meet rachel and chien @ KAP. I kinda fell asleep in the bathroom after i changed hahax. Was really tired.. But still crazy and wild! Hahax was a little late to meet rachel and chien. Hee hee >< style="font-style: italic;">uh-humph* yeah. After that we went to JP. Played para para; Time Crisis 4; Big Bettie; The basketball thingy & Racing. Para para, is something that makes you go crazy! :D Hahax. Went to watch Horton too. I watched the first half of the movie and fell asleep the other half hee hee. So I did not know how exactly the movie ended but nevermind.. Hahax. After that went to get MC at the clinic.. Wow got loads of medicine can! I got the most out of all three of us! I dont know why the doc flooded me with medicines.. :P. I wont eat them hee hee. After that headed to my house.. Played some mystery game which is soo hard and small and took turns playing audi.. Hahax. Got to go turn in soon! BINGBING; BONGBONG;BANGBANG!♥

I am Missing You Joey..

I Have tried. I really did. I tried so many ways, so many times, so many tries but you just continue facing your back to me. I am exhausted. Soon I am Going to break down again. I treat this relationship between you and I like a golden ribbon binding our hearts together. Even though this ribbon is now untied, it has come loose; I tried to tie it back but i seem to be successful for a short period of time. I really cant take it anymore. Control my emotions no more. I told you how i felt. Thinking you would understand. But instead you dont. If you really want to hit me I let you. I PROMISE I wont retaliate. If thats the only solution for bringing back does happy times I spend with you I dont mind even if I die in your hands I dont mind cause to me you really matter. You are someone I really care and wont give up on. But you are really pushing me; Down to those sharp rocks below. We use To Be the rainbow; sunshine and wind. Together pushing through our difficulties, troubles and fears. Now we are as good as a rope torn into many strands. I promises i gave to you time after time, day after day, moments after moments are still kept in my heart. It hurts me to break any of these promises i gave to you. But today is the day i broke one promise I am sorry but I had to. One promise we promised was this," If you fall, I PROMISE I wont laugh at you." This promise is still clung strong and dear to me. Promises between us i treat them as precious as Gold. But I Guess we are just loosing it all.. All I can do now is just waiting at the bottom of the Rainbow waiting for you to return and trying my best to build back this bridge of love between us; The rainbow we used to share. But while I am building it you are ignoring and kinda tearing it down. I am really exhausted. All I can Say now after all these days is, " I give up. I am really tired. I cant take it. But I MUST persevere cause I want this friendship back with you. The answer on how much you want it is in your heart. You know it yourself." If I fell last time I Know you wont laugh at me but you will stretch your hand out and offer to me to pick me up and caring for me but now i can predict that you will just sit there and laugh cause I dont seem to matter to you anymore. Its ok is what i tell myself cause now I have to be strong and pick myself up whenever I fall and to get that love back. imissyoubestie..

To My Close Buddies! :D

To All My FREAKINGLY MAD FRIENDS!:
No worries yeah? I wont forget you guys! Dont be silly! HAHA How Can i ever forget such crazy memories if I can see you everyday? Even if I am at "home" I still got your picture right? HAHA.

To My Closest BUDDY!:
When the times comes for us to be distant friends, don't let your ego over rule you. If you wanna cry come and hug me cause i promise you that i will cry with you there even if the information counter makes an announcement saying," Can the 2 Wailing girls just SHUT THE F*CK UP!" HAHA Just ignore cause they are crazy HAHA. Since the beginning of the year i said i will always be there for you. And I WILL. When you needed help I did Try my Very best to help you by coming up with loads of weird but some are sensible ideas. Guess I will miss part of the tornado at the back of the class.. ILOVEYOU my BESTIE!:D

To Winnie:
I really wont have any idea if you will continue your walk on this path to christianity but i really hope you do. Well life comes with unexpected events to make you go crazy i guess. I cant deny reality but i can hide it for a while. Yes I can. You cant disagree with God huh? Well He is GOD after all. We got to follow as He plans cause maybe there are other people out there who needs to recieve the message too! We got to continue to pass it on right? Like our favourite song that people always sing on Christmas Eve And hand out candles for you to hold. Yeah So Stay strong thats all I can say but if you need a crying shoulder my house phone is always open for you to call and ask me over to your house since you can barely go out. Aww Come on you know I am a good teddy bear for you to hug.. But not a pluffy one.. Maybe before you hug me i stuff some pillows around me HAHA. And I can return your smile! You know that alright! HAHA so yeah make this few moments last forever like its never going to end. :D

To Samuel Korkor:
I Told you. Cutting; Slashing; Slitting; Making scars on your hand is the dumbest thing can! I did not expect a strong guy like you to do such a ****ing **** **** thing! Yeah I admit I did it before cause then i was childish and was addicted to it. I ADMIT! But please please i beg you to stop can? Remember that promise you made to me. Promise me you will keep that promise and mean it when I meet you again. I let you do it but i dont let you cut. Face your fears; Dont run away. Cutting is like smoking. You never know when you get addicted until you go too crazy and people starts avoiding you. I know you did it for a reason but still! Why cant you control your anger? WHY! I am sorry but i was away so you could not call through but deep down you know I nor That Girl will like you doing it. In the end why do you do it!? Piss me off? Piss her off? Piss both of our ass off!? When you told me In my head the only four letter word came in and that was CRAP. I was disappointed in you. I thought you were mature but this has proven my impression of you wrong. Please Stop it alright. And DONT YOU DARE GO BACK TO SMOKING! :D

To Kaisan:
Thanks For trying! :D Well sorry if i kinda disappointed you HAHA. Well I wanted to be MISS ANTI- SOCIAL! But well the last few sessions are just too tempting to go crazy haha. Well after the board break I felt like a free person running my crazy hacktic life HAHA. Well you did get me in the mood to just jump and go crazy. Thanks for saving my life man! HAHA yesterday. :D Yupp looking forward to my first session though haha. Cant wait. But man.. Scared if it turns out boring. It will be a total blow off. HAHA. THANKS ANYWAY!! :D