Back to square one,
I wished things could have been different, things I didn't do, things I didn't have the courage to say then to have been said, to tell you I really meant it...
These 2 years 10 months, we've been on a roller coaster ride... Tears that should have not been, screaming that weren't meant to be.
From loving to just simple wishing for just 5 minutes with you to talk things out. To fix that cruel broken path we each went down.
The shadow of the heart.
This is the only situation I've questioned myself so many whys that I can never answer. From smiles to a last long tight hug, then unto hoping which was then crushed like a piano thrown from Mt Everest. Heavy, black and white, many keys yet to be played, to be lay out, filled with so many dreams and wishful thinking. All comes crushing down...
I got the chance again, but being me, I screwed it up. How many sorry-s can I say? How many am I allowed to say? How do I even say it?
Why can't I just close my eyes and wake up.
Why can't it all be.
why.
Just rolling down this mountain of memories, dead hopes, tears and yet laughter we shared.
Praying for one more chance, hoping, desperation.
I keep telling myself, it's time. It's time. But it's not in my time. It's in Daddy God's. He knew I wasn't ready... But right now, I really feel like I've passed the stage of just a simple apology, I owe more than that...
Lead me to where you are, just one more...
Please just one more.
I believe its all part of a grander plan. I'm on my way, on my way home.
