Continuation of "Learning" on 10th November 2011.

This week has not been absolutely amazing for me. It was a downhill snowball effect of unfortunate wars between my head, heart and morals.
Finding out something about my dear friend has shaken me. Someone I've always seen as a "hero", achieving high, stand strong on personal morals and values and always being there for friends. That glass I've always made this hero out to be then had this slight chip on the edge. The chip I just discovered. My naive world was shaken. But this imperfect glass reminded me that its God that I stand by and its Him we should rely and trust in. Life battles are hard and sometimes running away from temptations is harder than running a 100km marathon in reality.
This "hero" of mine picked a hard path but even if he/she did, its amazing how God is still with him/her and helping him/her fight each and everyday. Daddy God is definitely carrying him/her through and placing great perseverance. There was an easier path option that had its own sets of problems and temptations but choices are made. I've chosen the painful path that has hurt not me but the One who loves me a million over times that if it was represented with a silk cloth, the cuts I've made in it will not even leave you a single thread.
But He still loves us nonetheless and protects us even more.

Another friend who was at a crossroad as well, deciding whats next was faced with similar situation as I. Bend morals and values? Even though we rationalise and try to find alternatives, initial values have also been bent be it a little of a lot. But we all learn be it a path we pick is going to be hard even when we know the end result we still go ahead. I'm a culprit of doing such many times over. I'm not that blameless either.
But He still loves us nonetheless and protects us even more.

& It came to me. The questions rises. Will I pick the hard path? Will I break things I should never break? Will I pick for my selfish gain? Will I have to go through this tutorial all over again? Will I bend my morals and values? Watching my "hero" and my fellow sister-in-Christ, I considered saying yes to all those questions above. But talking to my "hero" shook me and woke me up. I didn't think I could do it. I thought I was shattering. I thought I was breaking. My rationalised thoughts of denial engulfed me.
"You of all people, I know can do it." <-- I questioned those words.
"You can do it, my hero." <-- Words that stopped me. Words that sent me spiralling down the awakening tube where I am reminded. 'Salt and Light of this world'. Why would I consider saying yes to those questions? Why would I even..? My answer was clear. My mind was set. God has finally been able to poke me in the forehead when I've been pushing His finger away.
But He still loves us nonetheless and protects us even more.