SDScantlebury #1

The world tells you its right,

the mind tells you otherwise

with stubborn beats,

the heart holds on tight.

When feelings jump guns,

we forget who owns this heart.

We let it go just a little,

With a twist of sweet and bitter.

Skipping mountains,

I close my eyes tighter at each beat it misses.

With strings like a puppet,

I lose myself among your kisses.

Just the thought of your presence,

The gaze of your mesmerising eyes,

Bliss from your scent's remnants,

All I can manage are sighs.

That smile that has no adjective,

the way I 'feet' your fetish,

my little toes you kiss in adoration,

My response popped your bubble's imagination.

The way you strum your guitar,

the very same way you give, in loving me.

Serious but filled with fun and with passion,

you yearn to learn and get better.

I thank God for you.
Because you bring the 'beautiful' out of me.
Broken people with broken hopes,
Together, we're no longer alone to cope.

{S

hello again :)

I've decided to return and hopefully keep up with updates and all. To be honest, I've stopped because well along the way I got pretty exhausted with life and frankly, I was done sharing with the world my life. However, I came to realise that my joy and love for sharing my life is so that maybe someone out there would be impacted some way or another. Be it to feel happy or maybe to reflect on the lessons learnt because of decisions I have once made. On top of that, I love writing.

Quick update: Just got back from a Mediterranean cruise with the hofamfam. I'll upload pictures and tell of stories later. As for now... Meet the gang. 

 Kelvin. Shane. Marilyn. Shreya. Gus. Sherrie. & We're missing Kalem.

I'm not too sure if I have introduced Sherrie to you but...
Sherrie, I have known her since 2011 but we only got closer in 2012. Since, she's my sister from another mister. She's the one I would run to immediately when I have something exciting to share. She's the one I would confide in with late night golden gay times ice cream  and sitting in the car with our jammies on. She means a lot to me. We started getting closer during Weng's and Meiyee's birthday period as we started organising surprise parties and realising how well we clicked and how our ideas together, intertwined turned out magical. With my wildest imaginations, to her logical, realistic thoughts that ride onto them, we make the impossible, possible.

Sherrie :)

Something about Shane and Gus:

 Gus: Came to Lynwood in our last year of high school in the year 2012 where he was spotted sitting across the lawn with his brother looking rather... Depressed. "Poor kid" I thought, "He must be lonely.". So I decided to go up to him and invite him to join our group. "NO." was his reply. "Oh... okay. Well, we'll always be there. Join whenever you're ready." I was shocked but I trust that he will come around soon. He added me on Facebook that night. I was honestly pumped and ecstatic. We got to know each other so much more that night. He shared why he seemed so down and out, I shared my concerns. Eventually, he did cross that lawn and sat right next to me. :)

Shane: "That pretty solemn smart guy in chem" I spotted in year eleven. Doesn't seem to be outspoken or anything. He adds me on Facebook, said the mandatory thanks and it didn't get too far from there until year 12 when things weren't too great on his end and he started hanging out with us.

We got closer as we shared an interest in bands and songs that has not met the radio yet. That then escalated even more this year, firstly when we went to Jess' 18th and he only knew me as the rest were private school peeps. We talked so much that night as he couldn't drive past 12 so he stayed the night. We had so much to share, we didn't sleep till 4 in the morning. Sharing our lives through words for a night, a life filled of experiences exchanged for another.

All in all...
To be frank, that's the beauty of our group. We are kinda the misfits, part of other groups before but wanting to take a step into wanting a difference in our lives, we found each other. From there, we honestly don't have any bitch fights or childish squabbles because we accept each other for who we are. Make up, no make up; Nerd or rebel; Artsy or not; Sporty or unfit... We had them all but ultimately even the colour of our skin starts to fade out and we all become one colour.

Out of all that, six of us came out closer than ever. We spend almost every weekend together from just chilling to adventures.

Here's a drop of hype...

We started dating since 25th June 2013.

Strange at first, surprise to people in my life, heart aches for reasons but to me, I may be young and naive but I'm hopeful.

A hope I don't deserve but a desperate prayer I desire. If it's good or bad, honestly... It's worth it. I learn something both ways and I am grateful for that. :)

Waiting way too long he says, but she insists its 2 who are but not meant to be.

"All I know is we said, "Hello."
So dust off your highest hopes
All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed
All I know is the new found grace
All my days I know your face
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed"

-"Everything has changed" by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran

At that moment everything we knew we knew for sure were red lights.
When we stepped into that sports car, we knew something stupid was going to happen.
We accelerated ahead just to meet the next stop light.
Something's not right.
Was that the ignition? I saw a spark and it flew far.
Or was that the rust of my brakes?
No, we hit a orange light, a rocket instinct to speed up kicked in.
A rocket, soaring through skies, missing stars, landing on the moon and there we stayed till the burning, warmth from sun rays came through that surrounded us.
We stored up pearls in the bottom of our hearts,
we shone as we reflected the warmth and pearls spilled and covered the rough surfaces of the moon.
Its surface so rough, so bumpy, pot holes everywhere, depicting our world.
Just like the sun and moon, they've been there for each other.
But one day, into that crash they whirlwind into and everything shook.
The sun still had her glow and she shone bright but deep down there were cracks but no one could see because her light she always have given is radiant and blinding.
The moon has always hidden behind the sun's rays but deep down its shattered inside.
Hollow. Empty. Lost.
Back to earth we land. Reality we receive. Waking up from this crash.
And we get out of this car and carry on with life.
Leaving that dream with that bitter taste and zipped away out into this universe to never be seen again.
That's it.
The end.

fear.

If only it wasn't this commercialised, people wouldn't have that fear of being forgotten.
Because even the closest of strings forgets and gets snapped, wreckage, instead of package.

its just one of those days.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged. Amazing, great, fine and bad. Ever since WACE has ended for me, (which really is actually exactly a month ago) I've been packed, day in and out I have not actually had a day for myself to stay home and when that happened today, it suddenly placed a massive pause in my life as if I've forgotten where I am, who I am and what's happening to me.