Singapore's National Day today and honestly, my last NDP in Singapore was a miracle my heart refuses to ever let go.
Spending it with amazing people especially the very boy that I embarked on a journey with exactly 3 years ago on this very day, at this very time where he shot me straight dead on the pathway with how he could make me never forget that very, extraordinary day I never knew was going to be the same ever again.
"Taking my hand, pulling me down the streams of people." You, dear reader have already probably read that for the 100000000th time on my blog already. Especially on every Singapore NDP post I have each year since I left.
This post is just to you NZH. Read it or not, it doesn't matter anymore.
Dear 1234,
The way you made this linger in me is pretty astonishing. Uncanny and could never be comprehended. So it seems the start of this year was the end of that journey we started exactly 3 years ago at this time. It seems like a blow that I never knew would be from you. A wishing that God used you to fulfill. He has His purpose, cause "everything happens for a reason." Just like what we use to say. Your faith, I adored. Your character, I could not grasp. Ridiculously, you showed me who I could be and how I could reach my potential. You said,"Trust in Him. Pray." Words that came from you were like engraving of marble. You requested me to move on, I asked for time. You tell me it's been gone since that flower took after me, I broke and cried in helplessness. You tell me to take care, I said I always will. & You tell me the future you hope, I tell you to stop. Why do conclusion contradict the things you use to tear me down of my pedestal of hopes? Scarred, you made me promise your pleas of "Move on. Move on." I've tried. Since the day I took a step further, since the day you told me of fears or mine fulfilled. I tried since the day you became who I once was. 8 months has passed, still no footprints of yours... Further mistakes I've made yet lessons learnt. Simple things like your birthday, favourite colour, index number and anything relating to you is still memorised in me, complexity between us is gone and though the pain seems hard to forget at the moment, it was definitely one that I could relate with people. This is it, holding on is not deliberate anymore but like what you said, whatever the future holds, I would like to pick up your offer to still meet up but also with our other 2f family. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED ;D
In Daddy God's love,
Marilyn.
