reflection.

I just found out what does "Write love on her arms day" really was for.

I was once one of "those" people considered "stupid" or "silly".

The pressure girls give to each other,

the emotional side,

very real,

very scary.

Soon it can become an addiction,

lost like drugs,

no meaning in life,

blinded by tears,

deafened by silences,

embracing such inhumane self inflicted pain.

No one could understand,

you try to hide,

you cut yourself,

and this world out.

Beautiful girl,
don't believe this world lies of skinny, perfection and amazing.
Forgive the world that was so quick to judge,
Because I've learnt, you don't need that.
As long as you're true to yourself,
you're shining.
Shining brighter than any star,
even the sun.
You out shine them all.
Glowing with joy and love.
Cause you're simply,
beautifully amazing.
There is a greater hope in this world.
To guide you from this lost and dark route.
The light of the world,
lifting you up.
Daddy,
so don't turn away,
don't drop your head in shame
but looking up with tears in your eyes,
you've found the way.

I won't lie that once, 3 years ago, behind that word "love" were red scabs that I didn't allow to heal because I would slash over them again. I won't lie and said I was totally fine with it though I've gotten into the stage of addiction. Even with it, I still felt shameful, disgusting inside and out. I wanted the world to know it hurts inside because I hate sharing my sadness because I'm afraid but I wanted people to know, I'm faking these smiles and all. But really, there really are other ways of expressing sadness. I tried other painful ways like punching walls etc. but really, I was spreading more sadness to those I love. They'd cry and I'd be the heartless one pushing them out. But really, why spread sadness and tears when joy is so much more real with warmth? I still don't like sharing sadness but I do express it in a much healthier way that let me forget hurts and move on with joy. Slashing leaves marks and memories that you can never forget.